Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

The Replacement (2000)

Kelly Donovan: Xander Double

Quotes 

• Anya : Well, maybe we shouldn't do this reintegration thing right away. See, I can take the boys home, and, you know... we can all have sex together, and then, um, you know, just slap 'em back together in the morning.

  Xander Double : She's joking!

  Xander Harris : No she's not! She entirely wants to hae sex with us together, which is... wrong... and... and it would be very confusing.

• [Anya and Xander / his double sit on a blanket after kissing] 

  Anya : So... what happens next?

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : Well, at some point we take off our clothes.

  Anya : I mean what happens next in our lives? When do we get a car?

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : A car?

  Anya : And a boat. No, wait, I - I don't mean a boat. I mean a puppy. Or a child. I have a list somewhere.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : What are you talking about?

  Anya : Just... we have get going. I don't have time just to let these things happen.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : There's no hurry.

  Anya : Yes there is. There's a hurry, Xander. I'm dying. I may have as few as fifty years left.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : Fifty years? What is thi- Oh, wait a minute. This is about this.

  [he touches her arm sling] 

  Anya : What about the sling?

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : You haven't been hurt like this since you became human.

  [She nods reluctantly] 

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : Maybe it's finally hitting you what being human means.

  Anya : [she pouts]  No, that's not it.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : Yes, I think it is. You were gonna live for thousands of years.

  [Anya nods] 

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : And now you're gonna age and die. That must be terrifying.

  Anya : You don't understand what it's like.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : Being suddenly human? I think I can get what that would be like. And we can get through it together.

  Anya : You can't make it any different. I'm going to get old. And... you can't promise you'll be with me when I'm... wrinkly and my teeth are artificial and stuck into my wrinkly mouth with an adhesive.

  Xander Harris , Xander Double : No, I can't promise that. But it doesn't sound terrible. And that's saying something. I promise you, Anya. Very soon you won't be thinking about getting older.