- Tiffany Welles: Hello...
- Harley Dexter: Hi.
- Tiffany Welles: You look kinda lonely standing over here.
- Harley Dexter: I'm just catching my breath.
- Tiffany Welles: I'm Tiffany Wells, One of the senator's aides.
- Harley Dexter: I'm, uh, Fred Doggins.
- Tiffany Welles: No you're not,
- Harley Dexter: I'm not?
- Tiffany Welles: You're Harley Dexter.
- Harley Dexter: Oh. Well, don't you think you can get into trouble talking to me?
- Tiffany Welles: The senator asked me to.
- Harley Dexter: Ah, come on. You're kidding.
- Tiffany Welles: I'm not kidding. Despite what he says about you publicly, the senator finds you rather... dynamic.
- Harley Dexter: I would love to be convinced of that. How 'bout later over a bottle of wine?
- Tiffany Welles: Sounds inviting.
- Harley Dexter: It was meant to be.
- Gibel: I just heard on the radio you've had it, buddy. Langston got on a press converence, he's going after your tail.
- Harley Dexter: I'm taking care of that.
- Gibel: With daisies you're taking care of that?
- Kris Munroe: Okay, it's a deal. That's a lot of money for a used car.
- Abercrombie: Madame, this is not a used car. This is a previously owned Brittish motor vehicle.
- Gibel: Time for a long vacation. I'll pack - you bring the getaway money.
- Harley Dexter: It's gone.
- Gibel: What?
- Harley Dexter: I used it to bribe Langston.
- Mrs. Pattison: [explaining the scam Harley pulled on her] Mine was supposed to be a matching investment in oil rich lands.
- Mike Lloyd: There's more oil in my garage!
- John Bosley: Charlie, I, uh, have quite a rap sheet here on Mr. Harley Dexter. It appears that he's working with the Eastern Syndicate. He's a man of... two passions. Swindling is one, I'll give you the traditional three guesses as to the other.
- Kris Munroe: Charlie, do you suppose that Tiffany, Kelly or myself will qualify for Mr. Dexter's other passion?
- Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] My dears, why ever do you think we're in this business?
- Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] Now ladies and gentlemen, we're setting up three cons. Kelly will go to Mexico with the professor and interest Mr. Dexter in some, uh, fabulous Mayan art.
- John Bosley: Meanwhile Kris will pick up a Rolls-Royce and Mr. Lloyd and Tiffany will be at a fund raising affair for senator Langston.
- Kris Munroe: It's gonna be sort of a four pronged attack. And believe me, we're looking forward to it.
- Abercrombie: [about a Rolls-Royce] A rather well known pop star owned it. I don't for the moment recall his name. Uh, the skinny one who wouldn't wear proper shirts.