Chef! (TV Series)
Fame Is the Spur (1993)
Lenny Henry: Gareth
Quotes
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Gareth : You are a pea-brained, prat-faced, pompous, pillock-headed cretin. If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed.
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Gareth : We never hit it off, my father and I. We only once had a real conversation. He asked me what I wanted to be, and I said: "An orphan!"
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Gareth : While I was down there I couldn't help noticing that the kitchen floor is in the most disgustingly filthy state that it is possible for the human brain to conceive. Amateur microbiologists amongst you will find much down there that will enthral and fascinate. Very likely species as yet unknown to science are breeding freely underfoot even as I speak. It is possible that I'm kneeling all unbeknownst on a cure for the common cold, herpes and male pattern baldness all rolled into one. Put all such considerations out of your minds and clean this frigging floor!
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Gareth : Bloody journalists, bloody journalists! "How old are you, what's your star sign, do you have a favourite colour?" Yes actually, I do have a favourite colour. Dead journalist grey! That's my favourite colour. Bloody journalists. "Do you have a flight of fancy?" Well, actually, yes, I do. I'd like to go all the way back in time, and talk to the infant father of the ma, who invented tabloid journalism and talk to him about a vasectomy! That's my flight I of fancy - bloody journalists!
