The Comic Strip Presents (TV Series)

Bad News Tour (1983)

Nigel Planer: Den Dennis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Den Dennis : You're lucky I don't knock your fuckin' head in.

  Sandy Johnson : There's no need to get violent, is there? And try not to swear so much, please, for the sake of this film...

  Den Dennis : You can always put in a fucking bleep, can't you?

• Cashier : Two pounds and five pence, please, love.

  Den Dennis : Two quid? Two quid for one bloody sausage?

  Cashier : That's right, love. Two pounds and five pence.

  Den Dennis : Right, where's the camera?

  [Holds sausage up to camera] 

  Den Dennis : Look.

  [to cashier] 

  Den Dennis : What's the name of this place?

  [Cashier backs away] 

  Den Dennis : Well, anyway, it's a rip-off. Look, they're charging two quid for one bloody sausage! So don't come here!

  Cashier : It was clearly marked, love. Sausage, beans and chips, two pounds and five pence.

  Den Dennis : Well, I haven't got two quid, have I? Can I have half a sausage for a quid?

  Cashier : No you can't.