The Comic Strip Presents (TV Series)

Five Go Mad in Dorset (1982)

Adrian Edmondson: Dick

Photos 

Quotes 

• [repeated line] 

  Julian , Dick , Anne , George : And lashings of ginger beer!

• Dick : [pointing at the black station porter pushing their luggage on a trolley]  I say, Ju! That man looks foreign!

  George : Yes, I expect his name's 'Golliwog'!

  Anne : [giggles]  Yes, or Tarzan!

  Julian : I think we'd better call the police just as soon as we get back to Kirrin Cottage.

• Dick : Thanks, Anne. You really are a proper little housewife. Not like George, she still thinks she's a boy!

  George : I think it's stupid being a girl. I wish I was a boy.

  Dick : Really, George! It's about time you gave up thinking you're as good as a boy. I mean, Anne is just a girl, but she doesn't mind, do you, Anne?

  George : Well, I absolutely do mind, actually!

  Julian : Steady on, you two, the hols have only just started.

  Anne : [putting her hand on his arm]  You seem so grown up, Julian.

• Dick : Oh, wizard!

• Dick : [thanking the shopkeeper]  You really are a brick!

• Anne : Oh, do wipe your feet, Dick, I've only just dusted there.

  Dick : My word, Anne, you really are a proper little housewife! It must be awful being a girl and having to do all the work.

  Anne : Well, yes, it would be nice to do some of the more exciting things that you boys do. Still, I don't mind being dominated. At least I'm quiet and pretty and not like poor George.

• Julian : I say, where's young Toby got to?

  Dick : Oh, he's been kidnapped.

  Julian : Typical.

  George : Serves him right for being nouveau riche!

  Anne : Yes, and Jewish!

  [they laugh] 

• Dirty Dick : Right. Let's run through our evil plan once more, Mr. Knuckles.

  Fingers : Right you are, Mr. Lenin.

  [inside the tent] 

  Dick : [whispering]  Wake up, Ju. I can hear voices.

  Julian : I can't hear anything.

  Dick : Listen. There it is again.

  Fingers : Blah, blah, blah, stolen plans, blah, blah, blah, missing scientist, blah, blah, blah.

  Dick : Shh.

  Fingers : Blah, blah, blah, atom bomb, blah, blah, blah, Third World War, blah, blah, blah.

  Dick : Shh!

  Fingers : Blah, blah, blah, Kneecap Hill, blah, blah, blah, top secret, blah, blah, blah, kidnapped boy, blah, blah, blah, everything ties up, blah, blah, blah.

  Dick : Shh! Missing scientists? Kneecap Hill? Do me a favour? Big secret? What do you think it all means?

  Julian : I'm not sure, Dick, but it all sounds very queer!

• Dick : Adventures? That's all we ever have! Always hearing secret conversations, digging up buried treasure, chasing people down tunnels. Why can't we just do something else for a change?

  Julian : Like what?

  Dick : I don't know! Just... building model aeroplanes or country dancing.

  Julian : I'll pretend I didn't hear that!

• George : How on earth are we going to get in? We'll never be able to climb over that high wall.

  Dick : Perhaps there's a secret way in. There always has been in our previous adventures.

  Julian : Yes, and I expect this will be no exception.