The Comic Strip Presents (TV Series)
Five Go Mad on Mescalin (1983)
Adrian Edmondson: Dick
Photos
Quotes
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Julian : Look here, I think it's a darn right shame that our heritage is being bought up by people like you who can't even speak the Queen's English.
Red : Listen bud, if we hadn't come over and saved you limeys during the war there wouldn't be any goddam Queen's English!
Dick : Yes, well we think it's a pity the Nazis didn't win actually because at least they cared about racial purity and they didn't litter the countryside with bubble gum wrappers!
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Anne : Gosh, Isn't it sad to think there are people in the world who are starving?
George : Yes I suppose it is, but if they didn't breed like rabbits there'd be more to go round
Anne : Yes that's true
Julian : Mind you, half of them die in childbirth so it must all even out in the end, I suppose.
Anne : Oh dear, I do wish there was something we could do to help
Dick : Poor old Anne, just like a girl to get het up on world problems on a lovely day like this
George : Well it doesn't worry me
Julian : I agree with Dick, Africa's miles away from here, come on let's enjoy the hols.
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Red : Right Mr Knuckles, lets load up this huge consignment of secret packages.
Mr. Knuckles : Righty-ho Red, but this time I want more money, you hear? More money.
Red : You've been paid for your dirty work, Mr Knuckles, just get this stuff to Love island like the boss told ya.
Mr. Knuckles : Don't you worry about that Red, diplomatic relations is my game.
Red : That's as maybe, just don't double-cross me like last time, that's all.
Dick : What do you think they're up to?
Julian : Well it's not farm work, I'll be bound.
Mr. Knuckles : This must be the most evil bit of business I've ever done, Red.
Red : Well mind you don't scarper before the job's finished, that's all.
Mr. Knuckles : Don't you worry about that Red, I'm up to my greedy neck in this racket.
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Red : You'd better do what I'm telling you Ma, or it's gonna be the worst for ya.
[Punching sound]
Mrs. French : [Screams] You were a good son once, now you've fallen into bad company.
Red : Never mind all that, all I care about is selling the family farm, and taking all the money.
George : Shall we knock?
Julian : Not yet.
Mrs. French : You were such a lovely baby.
Red : [shouting] Shut up!
[Punching sound]
Mrs. French : Aaagh!
Red : You sell up everything like I'm saying, or else! I'm going off gambling now, so don't wait up for me.
[Sees the Famous Five]
Red : Oh God, what's all this?
Julian : Good afternoon, I hope we're not disturbing you, but we're The Famous Five and we're here to stay for a fortnight's farm holiday.
Red : Oh well I'm very sorry Mr Famous Five, but I'm afraid your lovely farm holiday has just been cancelled, so piss off, and don't interfere in my secret arrangements.
Mrs. French : Oh don't mind him dear, he's drunk, that's all. Do come in, I expect you'd like to start stuffing yourselves right away, don't you?
George , Julian , Anne , Dick : Rather!
Mrs. French : Well, your Aunt Fanny did write to me about your excessive gluttony, so I've prepared you a meal that would kill an elephant.
