- Darkwing Duck: Something's happened to me. I don't know what, but I need your help.
- Launchpad McQuack: You don't need help, D.W.; you need an undertaker.
- Darkwing Duck: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not dead!
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: But Dad, if you're not dead, what are you?
- Darkwing Duck: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the ghost of a chance that you don't have!
- [Darkwing's ghost returns home]
- Darkwing Duck: Oh, what a day. I'm dead on my feet.
- [Launchpad and Gosalyn enter the room in tears, unable to notice the ghost]
- Darkwing Duck: Launchpad, Gosalyn, what's wrong? Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart? Bad grades, sad movie, Launchpad cooked dinner?
- Launchpad McQuack: Oh, D.W.!
- Darkwing Duck: Yes, yes, you called?
- Launchpad McQuack: How will ever get along without him?
- Darkwing Duck: Without who? What are you talking about?
- Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard: Oh, Launchpad... I can't believe he's... gone!
- Darkwing Duck: Gosalyn, honey, I'm right here, in the pink! Well, light pink, anyway.
- Launchpad McQuack: It's like I can almost still hear him!
- Darkwing Duck: [screaming] Almost? If I yell any louder I'll rupture something!
- Grim Reaper: Mr. Mallard, I trust there will be no more stalling.
- Darkwing Duck: Just give me one more minute to say goodbye.
- Grim Reaper: Very well. One more minute. I do hope I'm not going soft.
- Saint Peter: [checking his records] Let me see, uh, "da Vinci, Darwin, Durante..." Well, now this is highly peculiar. There's no record for a "Darkwing Duck." Hmm, perhaps it's under Drake Mallard.
- Oprah Windbag: Mr. Volt, you were responsible for the death of a well-known crime fighter. Has your life changed?