Designing Women (TV Series)

The Mistress (1990)

Delta Burke: Suzanne Sugarbaker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : I know the name of every man in this city who has money. I know the names of the men who are thinking about having money. As a matter of fact, I even know the names of little boys who are good at playing Monopoly. So don't be telling me about the men who have money in Atlanta, okay?

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : ...Julia are you kiddin'? If Reese Watson even thought of having a mistress, the very least you would do is blow up his car and burn his apartment to the ground.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : Oh, Charlene, that reminds me. I saw two things on TV I gotta tell you about. Now first one is, there was a segment on the news about that league of breastfeeding people you like so much, you know, La Leaky.

  Charlene Frazier Stillfield : Suzanne, it's La Leche.

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Oh, well. Whatever.

• Mary Jo Shively : What the heck is that stuff?

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : It's rice cakes. I started my diet last night.

  Mary Jo Shively : You put jelly on them?

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Yes. Do you have a problem with that?

  Mary Jo Shively : You've been on a diet for 12 hours, and already you're this cranky?

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Yes. As a matter of fact, after work, I'll probably be crashing my car into a Taco Bell. What's it to you?

  Mary Jo Shively : Nothing. I just hate it when you're on a diet.

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Yeah, that's because you're little and tiny and cute. You never have to eat stuff like rice cakes. I oughta just cram this down your throat.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : [the ladies debate whether or not to take a job decorating for their client's mistress]  I just hate men who think they can have their cake and eat it too. As a matter of fact, I just hate anyone who eats cake.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : Well, I just can't believe she's keepin us waiting so long. I mean, I have better things to do with my time than sitting around waiting for some concubine to fall outta bed. I mean, I could be home watching Green Acres.

  Mary Jo Shively : Suzanne...

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : WHAT?

  Mary Jo Shively : I think it's time for you to suck on some more sugarless candy.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : Big, black beautiful buck. Hmph. I'm just gonna call the NAACP and turn her name in. I mean, that's a racial slur if I ever heard one.

  Mary Jo Shively : And you oughta know.