Dharma & Greg (TV Series)
Pilot (1997)
Susan Sullivan: Kitty Montgomery
Photos
Quotes
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Greg Montgomery : How can marriage not be about love?
Kitty Montgomery : I don't know. Ask your father.
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Kitty Montgomery : Finkelstein?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : Mm-hmm.
Kitty Montgomery : Edward, what's the name of our Jewish friends?
Edward Montgomery : The Gottliebs, dear.
Kitty Montgomery : Right, the Gottliebs. Do you know them?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : Uh, no. Actually, I wasn't raised Jewish. My dad started his own church though, but no one really came. Well, except the IRS.
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Kitty Montgomery : So, how long have you two been dating?
Greg Montgomery : Actually, we're not dating.
Kitty Montgomery : Oh.
Greg Montgomery : We're married.
Kitty Montgomery : Pardon?
Edward Montgomery : He said they're...
Kitty Montgomery : I heard him!
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Kitty Montgomery : I cannot believe we're taking the train.
Edward Montgomery : Fine. Let's stand in the rain and watch cabs go by.
Young Greg : This is fun.
Kitty Montgomery : No, it's not. It's public transportation. Don't touch anything. Everything's dirty.
Edward Montgomery : And don't stare at strangers. They'll want money.
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Greg Montgomery : I know it's a big surprise, but I need you to trust me on this. I love this woman, and I've never been happier in my life.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : [awkward silence] So, do you guys just hate me?
Greg Montgomery : Dharma, please, let me handle this. Mom, dad, you've gotta believe me. I did the right thing here.
Edward Montgomery : Oh, my god. She's pregnant.
Greg Montgomery : She's not pregnant. I just met her yesterday.
Kitty Montgomery : [calling to the housekeeper] Consuela. Bourbon grande, por favor.
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Edward Montgomery : Greg, can I see you in the study for a moment?
Greg Montgomery : No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Dharma.
Edward Montgomery : All right. Quite frankly, your mother and I would be lying if we didn't say we're very concerned about this. Now, I don't mean to offend you, Karma.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : Dharma.
Kitty Montgomery : Whatever.
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Edward Montgomery : You're not exactly the type of girl we imagined our son settling down with.
Greg Montgomery : How can you say that? You don't know anything about her.
Edward Montgomery : Fair enough. Dharma, tell us about yourself.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : [Greg gives her a look of encouragement] Well, I train dogs during the day, and then I teach yoga at night.
Kitty Montgomery : That's enough.
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Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : You guys aren't in love?
Edward Montgomery : This is not about our marriage.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : Well, it should be. I mean, I don't know you two very well, either, but, um, when's the last time you guys had sex?
Greg Montgomery : Okay. That's enough.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : I'm just trying to help.
Greg Montgomery : Honey, I know. It's just that, uh... for now, why don't we have our lunch and talk about this another time?
Kitty Montgomery : Excellent suggestion.
Edward Montgomery : Splendid.
Greg Montgomery : The salmon's delicious.
Edward Montgomery : Yes, it is. Is this the same sauce she usually makes?
Kitty Montgomery : I believe it is, yes. Oh, Bunny got her own golf cart.
Edward Montgomery : Gas or electric?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : [sensing the awkward atmosphere] You know, you guys should try doing it outside.
Greg Montgomery : Dharma.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery : No, I'm serious. In a big field where you could get caught.
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Greg Montgomery : [after a fight with Dharma] I was so sure she was the one.
Kitty Montgomery : Of course you were, dear. I know this is difficult for you. Did she sign a prenuptial agreement?
Greg Montgomery : [sarcastic] Thanks for your support.
Kitty Montgomery : Sorry. Sorry. Do you think she's sign one now?
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Kitty Montgomery : Gregory, if you care about this girl, you will end this marriage now.
Greg Montgomery : How can you say that?
Kitty Montgomery : Darling, I know free spirits like her. I went to Vassar. And believe me, after a few years of hanging on your arm at political dinners with this fake smile plastered on her face, all she will be good for is crawling into a bottle of chardonnay with a Neiman-Marcus catalog and a bottle of Valium the size of your head. Or so one imagines.