Quotes
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Wally : Let's see, we're here.
Wally : We are?
Dilbert : Aren't we?
Dilbert : I suppose.
Wally : I could be wrong.
Asok : If we're not here, then were are we?
Wally : And if we are here
[pointing to mall map]
Wally : , were is here?
Dilbert : Isn't here
[pointing at mall map]
Dilbert : there?
Asok : I would think here
[pointing to ground]
Asok : is here.
Wally : You would.
Dilbert : Here's there
[pointing at mall map]
Dilbert : .
Wally : There's here.
Dogbert : sigh
-
Alice : A gift certificate is completely different from cash.
Dilbert : No, it's not. They're both pieces of paper you can exchange for goods and services.
Alice : You're missing the point.
Dilbert : Actually, a gift certificate is worse than cash, because you can only use it in one place.
Wally : And it expires.
Alice : At least it shows some thought.
Dilbert : It shows defective thought. You're trading perfectly good money for something that does the same thing, only not as well.
-
Dilbert : Why are people flying off the escalator? And what happened to Dogbert? And why do I think those questions are related?
-
[Dilbert's "Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine" alarm clock turns on at 6:00 a.m]
Seven of Nine Alarm Clock : Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day. Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day.
[Dilbert wakes up in the middle of the second declaration]
Dilbert : I wonder if I could ever date a woman like Jeri Ryan.
Seven of Nine Alarm Clock : That too is futile.
Dilbert : Ok, that's enough out of you.
Seven of Nine Alarm Clock : Do not touch me.
Dilbert : Then how do I turn you off?
Seven of Nine Alarm Clock : Believe me, I am plenty turned off right now.
Dilbert : Clock-tease.
