- Wally: Let's see, we're here.
- Wally: We are?
- Dilbert: Aren't we?
- Dilbert: I suppose.
- Wally: I could be wrong.
- Asok: If we're not here, then were are we?
- Wally: And if we are here
- [pointing to mall map]
- Wally: , were is here?
- Dilbert: Isn't here
- [pointing at mall map]
- Dilbert: there?
- Asok: I would think here
- [pointing to ground]
- Asok: is here.
- Wally: You would.
- Dilbert: Here's there
- [pointing at mall map]
- Dilbert: .
- Wally: There's here.
- Dogbert: sigh
- Alice: A gift certificate is completely different from cash.
- Dilbert: No, it's not. They're both pieces of paper you can exchange for goods and services.
- Alice: You're missing the point.
- Dilbert: Actually, a gift certificate is worse than cash, because you can only use it in one place.
- Wally: And it expires.
- Alice: At least it shows some thought.
- Dilbert: It shows defective thought. You're trading perfectly good money for something that does the same thing, only not as well.
- Dilbert: Why are people flying off the escalator? And what happened to Dogbert? And why do I think those questions are related?
- [Dilbert's "Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine" alarm clock turns on at 6:00 a.m]
- Seven of Nine Alarm Clock: Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day. Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day.
- [Dilbert wakes up in the middle of the second declaration]
- Dilbert: I wonder if I could ever date a woman like Jeri Ryan.
- Seven of Nine Alarm Clock: That too is futile.
- Dilbert: Ok, that's enough out of you.
- Seven of Nine Alarm Clock: Do not touch me.
- Dilbert: Then how do I turn you off?
- Seven of Nine Alarm Clock: Believe me, I am plenty turned off right now.
- Dilbert: Clock-tease.