The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

Witness: Jesse Duke (1983)

Denver Pyle: Uncle Jesse

Quotes 

• Uncle Jesse : [on CB in pickup truck]  You boys, you be good, you hear?

  Daisy Duke : [on CB in General Lee]  Uncle Jesse, don't you worry, 'cause I'm gonna keep my eye on 'em. You see, if Vance drives one mile over fifty-five, neither o' these fellas is gonna get any o' my sugar baked ham tonight.

  [Jesse chuckles at this] 

  Vance Duke : Why, that's blackmail!

  Daisy Duke : That's right!

  [they all laugh] 

• Uncle Jesse : Flowers and blue skies. You really don't miss these things much until we can't see 'em no more. But if I never see again, thank goodness I've... had my share of flowers and blue skies and... sunsets.

• Boss Hogg : Jesse, I guess it's no secret that, eh, Rosco and me, we gotta be somewhere in seven minutes. Eh, and we'd better, or I stand to lose ten thousand dollars.

  Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane : Yeah.

  Boss Hogg : So, you wouldn't mind, would ya, if we left you alone for a teensy weensy, itty bitty little while?

  Uncle Jesse : J.D., a fellow's gotta do what a he's gotta do, even if it's crookider than a corckscrew. You go right ahead.

  Boss Hogg : Oh, thank you, Jesse, I knew you'd understand!

• Uncle Jesse : [Jesse hears someone enter the house]  Coy? Vance? J.D.? Ro-, Ro-, Ro- did you fellas change your minds?

  Parker : Well no, sir, I'm not exactly one of your friends. I'll give you a guess, though.

  Uncle Jesse : If you got blond hair, the blue eyes of a wild dog and a scar on your left cheek, I don't have to guess. You're the scum of the Earth.

  Parker : Yep, right on the money, you got it, pop.