- Johnny "Drama" Chase: You could have saved some coin. I remember I broke up with Stacy Laruzso a week before Valentine's Day. I got back with her a week after. No chocolates, no roses...
- Eric Murphy: No class.
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, Vince. Let's do a Tarantino movie. He could revive me like he did for Travolta.
- Turtle: Be more like reviving Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington.
- Ari Gold: I'm just saying be discreet... No hand-holding at the Grove. No canoodling on Melrose.
- Vincent Chase: Canoodling?
- Shauna: No finger-banging her courtside at the Lakers game...
- Vincent Chase: Not one day. We look at it like we've been dating for five years, with a four-and-a-half year break.
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: You know Brooke Shields was the first girl I ever seriously jerked off to.
- Turtle: That's romantic, Drama. You should tell her.
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: In the comforting scene, I thought that maybe a little kiss might add some pathos.
- Brooke Shields: Kiss?
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah, nothing crazy; more in love than lust.
- Brooke Shields: You're playing my brother.
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: [realizes he disn't do his homework] Really? I didn't even get a full script. Your brother?
- [scoffs]
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: That would be weird.
- Brooke Shields: Yeah.
- [chuckles uneasily]
- Brooke Shields: So what do you say, we save the kiss?
- Johnny "Drama" Chase: Yeah. Rain check it is.
- [looks at her as if it's a date he's made]
- Ari Gold: [doesn't want star of movie to be seen as third party in marriage breakup] The last thing we need is soccer moms from flyover states thinking Aquaman is a home wrecker.
- Sloan: Guys lie to their friends and tell them they're not in love. They don't usually lie and tell them they are. That lie they save for the girl.