- Beverly Ann Stickle: What movie did you see?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: A horror film: The Halloween Hacker 3: Part 6, A New Beginning, Dave Returns, Again.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I'm glad we're back, that movie petrified me.
- Natalie Green: Can I have my arm back now?
- Blair Warner: I was so scared, my deodorant failed.
- [Natalie moves away from her]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: What was the story about?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Story? This Dave guy goes out and kills people, that's the story.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Would you like some cocoa? It'll help you sleep.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Uh-uh, this child is staying awake the rest of her natural life.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: [Looking at Andy dead on floor] What a unique accident?
- Natalie Green: Accident? Or MURDER?
- [Everyone looks at Natalie]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Murder?
- Natalie Green: [Looking at Tootie] Murder.
- Blair Warner: Murder?
- Natalie Green: [Looks at Blair] Murder.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Murder?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: [Annoyed] She said murder, alright.
- Natalie Green: Tootie heard noises outside, didn't she? Some guy looks in the shop, sees Andy and kills him.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: I'm going to call the police.
- [Picks up the receiver]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Funny, there's no dial tone.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: The storm must've brought the line down.
- Natalie Green: Or maybe somebody cut it!
- [Everyone looks at Natalie]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Cut it?
- Natalie Green: [Looks at Tootie] Cut it.
- Blair Warner: Cut it?
- Natalie Green: [Looks at Blair] Cut it.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Cut it?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: [Annoyed] Cut it out.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Anybody messes with my stuff again pays the price.
- [the closet door opens and shows George hanging on a hook, girls scream]
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: I'm glad we understand each other.
- [sees George]
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Whoa!
- Beverly Ann Stickle: I thought George was going for help!
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Guess he decided to hang around.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Tootie!
- Blair Warner: You hid in a closet with a dead person?
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: At least I knew he wasn't going to hurt me.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: [about Blair] She's completely stiff!
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Looks like she was moussed to death!
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Poor Blair, at least she died like she lived; looking at herself.
- Natalie Green: [a loud scream is heard] What was that?
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Nothing, I'm imagining things.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Come on, let's go check it out.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: As you can see he must've come in here to blow up the inflatable moose.
- Natalie Green: Somehow the antlers punctured the plastic container.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Spilling the horseradish.
- Natalie Green: Causing him to slip on the jellybeans.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: And when he opened his mouth to say 'ouch'.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: The rubber cement fell in and finished him off.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Death by Rue Goldberg.
- George Burnett: [Coming in from the rain] Hi. Boy it sure is hard to shake the mud off your feet on a night like tonight.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Hugging him] Oh, George, you had us so scared.
- George Burnett: I'm sorry. Couldn't find the girls at the movies. So I thought I'd see if the got home alright.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Thank you, George. Everyone's fine.
- [Looking down at floor]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Except for Andy.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: George, Andy's
- [pauses]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: passed on.
- George Burnett: He moved?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: George. Andy's
- [Gesturing to Beverly Ann]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: [Stuttering] D-d-d-d didit.
- George Burnett: D-d-d-d didit. Oh no. He owed me 12 bucks.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: There's one thing about all this that really bothers me.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Besides Tootie's overacting?
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Those dice didn't come down by themselves. Someone had to set them in motion. Someone who may still be upstairs!
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Oh no! Blair's upstairs.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Yeaaaah.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: We were all being murdered by Blair because we bought our shoes at the supermarket.
- Blair Warner: Then you deserved to die.
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Be careful, Jo. You don't want to trip over Natalie.
- [shocked:]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Natalie!
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Oh no!
- [all:]
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Craps!
- [the dice are revealed to be snake eyes]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Poor Natalie.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Strangled by a pair of fuzzy dice.
- Blair Warner: What a whimsical way to die.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [after seeing Jo's been croaked] Oh no. She was right. Sweet little me is a mass murderer. But I don't remember any of it. Multiple personalities? That's got to be it. 6 faces of me. Each face responsible for a different death.
- [Walking over to counter]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Andy, George, Natalie, Blair, Beverly Ann, Jo.
- Blair Warner: And then there was Tootie.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Screams as a moussed out Blair rises up from behind the counter] Blair. But I thought you were.
- Blair Warner: Dipity Dooed. That's what I wanted everyone to think. It made it easier to get rid of the rest of you.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You. You're the murderer. Blair, that's so inconsiderate.
- Blair Warner: Don't you see. It's part of my plan to eliminate everyone who falls under the 50% tax bracket.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But we were your friends.
- [Raising umbrella and garbage can lid to protect herself]
- Blair Warner: My friends don't wear Polyester. They don't drive motorcycles or Ramblers.
- [Crossing the store following Tootie as she knocks things over]
- Blair Warner: They don't buy their shoes at the supermarket.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I get mine from Paris. Honest.
- Blair Warner: Too late Tootie.
- [Takes the lid from her]
- Blair Warner: You're hopelessly Middle Classed.
- [Takes umbrella]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Blair. Please, No. No. Please, Blair. Please, please.
- [Blair raises umbrella up ready to strike]
- [first lines]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: [sitting up on a dark and stormy night, wakes up from nightmare] Frank, I want a divorce...!
- [realizes she's been dreaming, checks her watch]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Girls, are you home yet?
- [calls upstairs:]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Are you sleeping? Blair, Natalie!
- [no answer, dashes to phone, dials]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Hello, George, Beverly Ann. Listen, uhm, the girls aren't home yet. They went to a movie, and, uh... with the storm, I - I'm worried about them. Could you drive to the theater and see if they've left? Yes, I'll pay for the gas. Oh? I don't think the trip will require an oil change. Thank you, George.
- [cradles phone]
- Beverly Ann Stickle: Coco! That's what I could use.
- Rod Sperling: [as worried Beverly Ann rushes off to go make Coco] A dream... or reality? Which is which? Take one Beverly Ann Stickle, freshly awakened from that unconscious reality known as a dream, and ask yourself this question: Is she really awake? Then slowly blend in worried phone call, the lateness of the hour, simmer over a furious thunderstorm, and what do you get? I don't know. Let's call it a recipe. A recipe that's missing five essential ingredients. Andy, Jo, Blair, Natalie and Tootie. Tootie. I like saying "Tootie!" In a moment, these ingredients will be embroiled in a casserole of the bizarre, bouillabaissed in confusing images in a well-done meatloaf of the mind... This speech is making me hungry.
- [is about to go]
- Rod Sperling: Oh. One more thing.
- [savoring it:]
- Rod Sperling: Tootie!
- Beverly Ann Stickle: [in Tootie's dream, talking about her nightmare] Oh, we were all being murdered by Blair because we bought our shoes at the supermarket.
- Blair Warner: Then you all deserve to die!
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I hear the click of a chainsaw being turned on!
- Blair Warner: You're imagining things! Go back to sleep!