Family Guy (TV Series)
Model Misbehavior (2005)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Carter Pewterschmidt, God, Captain Seamus, Cookie Monster, Serf
Photos
Quotes
-
Meg Griffin : Dad, how could you be okay with mom parading herself around like this? I'm mean she's half-naked. It makes all women look bad.
Peter Griffin : Meg, who let you back in the house?
-
Stewie Griffin : [in an office in Stewie's Bedroom] Uh, Brian, that coffee mug that you have that says, "Life's a beach"... that's dangerously close to the word "bitch", isn't it?
Brian Griffin : Yeah, that's the joke.
Stewie Griffin : Yes - and believe me. no one appreciates a good joke like Stewie - but, someof the other employees have found it offensive.
Brian Griffin : Other employees? Who else works here?
Stewie Griffin : [bleep] you! That's who else works here!
-
Peter Griffin : [at 3:00 a.m] Hey, everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe Swanson : Peter, shut up! It's 3:00 in the morning!
Cleveland : What the hell is going on out there?
Glen Quagmire : Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter Griffin : I'm just saying, I'm proud of her! She's a woman! Yeah!
Glen Quagmire : Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I'm exhausted!
-
Lois Griffin : I'm gonna become a model.
Peter Griffin : Hey, that's fantastic, Lois. And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris Griffin : Me, too.
Meg Griffin : Me, too.
Peter Griffin : Oh, God. Meg, that's sick. That's your mother.
Meg Griffin : I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter Griffin : Get out. Get out of this house.
Peter Griffin : [punches the wall] I said now!
[Meg runs out]
-
Lois Griffin : Hey there, sweetie! I got a wax this morning and, let's just say, you're cleared for landing! Huh?
Glen Quagmire : [in the distance] *giggity!*
-
Glen Quagmire : [after lighting a cigarette] So what's going on? You ever get freaky with that thing?
-
Lois Griffin : Hey, everybody, wait till you see this.
Peter Griffin : Oh, my God. Moveable printed type. We must keep this from the serfs, lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry.
Serf : What you got there, m'lord?
Peter Griffin : Nothing! Back to your turnips!
-
Carter Pewterschmidt : [while in a Rigatta, Carter has a yaght, and the Griffans have a tub with a sail]
[shouts]
Carter Pewterschmidt : LOSER!
Peter Griffin : What did he say?
Carter Pewterschmidt : [throws a cell phone at the Griffins]
[Cell phone rings, and Peter picks it up]
Carter Pewterschmidt : I said you're a loser!
Peter Griffin : Who is this?
-
Stewie Griffin : Oh, and tell Cookie Monster not to phone me until he finishes rehab.
-
Carter Pewterschmidt : Peter, I see you're still fat as hell.
-
Peter Griffin : Gee, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you could use some fine strapping young men like us on your schooner.
Carter Pewterschmidt : Are you saying I'm gay?
Peter Griffin : What? Are you sure you, you, you, you don't want more seamen on, on, on your poop deck?
-
Lois Griffin : Peter, I got a wax job and lets just say, you're cleared for landing!
Glen Quagmire : [off the screen] Giggitty!
-
Peter Griffin : Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt!
Carter Pewterschmidt : Peter! I see you're still fatter than holy hell.
Peter Griffin : Aw, you can read me like a book.
[laughs]
-
Stewie Griffin : [to the Pewterschmidts' Latin American maid] So which of the Latin countries are you from? The one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
-
Lois Griffin : Hey there, sweetie! I got a wax this morning and let's just say you're cleared for landing, eh?
Glen Quagmire : [From a distance] GIGGITY!
-
Peter Griffin : [shouting out the window] Hey, everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe Swanson : *Peter*! Shut up! It's three in the morning!
Cleveland : What the hell's going on out there?
Glen Quagmire : Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter Griffin : I'm just saying, she's a woman. I'm proud of her. Yay!
Glen Quagmire : Yes, Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning but right now I'm exhausted.
-
Carter Pewterschmidt : Are you saying I'm gay?
Peter Griffin : What? You mean you don't want more sea men on your poop deck?
-
Brian Griffin : Come on, Stewie, let's go.
Stewie Griffin : [going through envelopes] Yes, yes, I'm just checking the mail. I say, here's one from the vet.
Brian Griffin : [trying in vain to catch the letter from Stewie's hands] Give me that!
Stewie Griffin : [after reading the letter] Good Lord! Worms? You have worms?
Brian Griffin : I don't have worms, allright? I just got checked for worms.
[reading himself the letter]
Brian Griffin : Oh, wait, no, I do have worms. Oh God! Oh, wh - - what am I gonna do? I can't afford the medication for this.
Stewie Griffin : Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one.
Brian Griffin : No! No! No... you... you cannot tell them about this, please. Peter is not very discreet for private matters.
[...]
Brian Griffin : Just please, don't tell them
Stewie Griffin : You know? Perhaps you should worry a little less about your pride and little more about the creepy-crawlies Shawshanking their way out of your balloon knot
-
Peter Griffin : Hey, who's putting together a puzzle? 'Cause I just found a hot piece.
[giggles]
Glen Quagmire : Wow. Lois, you look great. I'd like to split you in half like a piece of lumber.
Lois Griffin : [chuckles] Oh, thank you, Glenn.
Joe Swanson : Yeah, Lois. I'd like to wear you like a hockey mask.
Lois Griffin : Oh, you guys!
-
Peter Griffin : Wow, Lois, look at you. You're like Britney Spears, except you're not a fat guy.