Family Guy (TV Series)

North by North Quahog (2005)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Tricia Takanawa, Hooker, Margaret

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Peter Griffin : Everybody, I got bad news. We've been canceled.

  Lois Griffin : Oh, no, Peter, how could they do that?

  Peter Griffin : Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like "Dark Angel," "Titus," "Undeclared," "Action," "That 80's Show," "Wonderfalls," "Fastlane," "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," "Skin," "Girls Club," "Cracking Up," "The Pits," "Firefly," "Get Real," "Freaky Links," "Wanda at Large," "Costello," "The Lone Gunmen," "A Minute With Stan Hooper," "Normal, Ohio," "Pasadena," "Harsh Realm," "Keen Eddie," "The Street," "American Embassy," "Cedric the Entertainer," "The Tick," "Louie," and "Greg the Bunny."

  Lois Griffin : Is there no hope?

  Peter Griffin : Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.

• Trica Takanowa : [on news]  I'm standing outside Manhattan's luxurious new Park Barrington Hotel because they don't allow Asians inside.

• Peter Griffin : [driving to his and Lois' second honeymoon, he's distracted by a comic book]  Look at all those hamburgers. You can't eat all those hamburgers, you stupid idiot.

  [as the car rumbles, he realizes he's drifted off the road] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, jeez!

  [getting back on, he raises the comic again] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh! He's gonna do it. Oh, he's so ridiculous. You hear me, you ridiculous man? You're... whoa!

  [the car rumbles again, and he screams, realizing he's about to hit a tree] 

  Lois Griffin : [asleep, the impact wakes her up]  Peter, what the hell is wrong with you? I fall asleep for ten minutes and you plow the car into a tree? Oh, my God, you gotta pay attention to the road! We could have been killed!

  [to block out her ranting, he raises the comic again] 

  Lois Griffin : I mean, look at the front of our car. It's totaled! It's completely totaled, Peter! Oh, this is just terrific! How are we gonna get... oh, my God! I knew I should've driven. I should always drive. I cannot trust you, Peter Griffin.

• Peter Griffin : [having sex, Lois moans another man's name]  Who the hell is George?

  Lois Griffin : George Clooney?

  Peter Griffin : Our sex is so dull for you that you gotta fantasize about George Clooney?

  Lois Griffin : I'm sorry, honey, I guess that things have become a little stale for me.

  Peter Griffin : Well, I-I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't really know that much about any kinky stuff. I mean, I-I could hook this car battery up to my nipples.

  [doing so and yelling in pain] 

  Peter Griffin : Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! This doing it for you?

• Stewie Griffin : Did really think you're all grown up

  Peter Griffin : We'll see that this film never sees the light of day.

  Lois Griffin : He could have us arrested or killed.

  Meg : In the mean time your grounded Chris.