Fawlty Towers (TV Series)
A Touch of Class (1975)
John Cleese: Basil Fawlty
Photos
Quotes
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Basil Fawlty : [seeing Manual with three trays] Manuel.
Manuel : ¿Si?
Basil Fawlty : [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel : ¿Que?
Basil Fawlty : There is too much butter... on... those... trays.
Manuel : No. No, no, senor. Not... not "on... those... trays"... No, sir.
Manuel : [counting the trays instructively] "Uno, dos, tres".
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Danny Brown : [with a strong London accent] Hello! Got a room?
Basil Fawlty : I beg your pardon?
Danny Brown : Got a room for tonight, mate?
Basil Fawlty : I shall have to see, sir. A single?
Danny Brown : Yeah. No, make it a double. I feel lucky today.
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[Basil has been listening to classical music in the office instead of typing the lunch menu or hanging a picture in the lobby]
Sybil Fawlty : You could've had them both done by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there, listening to that racket.
Basil Fawlty : "Racket?" That's *Brahms*! Brahms's third racket!
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Basil Fawlty : [nice and then nasty] Hello, Lord Melbury - BASTARRRDDD!
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Basil Fawlty : [chasing after Sir Richard Morris, who is leaving] Where are you going? Where are you going?
Sir Richard Morris : We're leaving!
Basil Fawlty : Oh, don't - please stay - you'll like it here.
Sir Richard Morris : I've never been to such a place in my life!
[they drive off]
Basil Fawlty : [yelling after them] You snobs! You stupid... stuck-up... toffee-nosed... half-witted... upper-class piles of... pus!
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Basil Fawlty : Your NAME, please. Could I have your name?
Lord Melbury : Melbury.
[the phone rings; Basil picks it up]
Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury] One second, please.
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Hello?... Ah, yes, Mr. O'Reilly. Well, it's perfectly simple. Ah, when I asked you to build me a wall, I was rather hoping that instead of just, uh, dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together, you know, one on top of the other in the traditional fashion.
Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury, testily] Could you fill it in, please?
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Oh, splendid! Ah, yes-yes-yes, ah, but WHEN, Mr O'Reilly?
Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury, who is having difficulty with the register] There-there-there!
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Yes-yes-yes, but when? Yes, yes... yes, yes... ah!... the flu! Yes.
Basil Fawlty : [to Melbury] BOTH names, please.
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly. That and the potato famine I suppose.
Lord Melbury : I beg your pardon?
Basil Fawlty : Would you put BOTH your names, please?
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Well, will you give me a DATE?
Lord Melbury : Er... I only use one.
Basil Fawlty : [with a withering look] You don't have a first name?
Lord Melbury : No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign "Melbury".
[there is a long, long pause]
Basil Fawlty : [to phone] Go away.
Basil Fawlty : [puts phone down] I'm SO sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship. I DO apologize. Please, please, accept my forgiveness. Now, is there something, ah, something, anything, that I can do for you? Anything at all?
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Sybil Fawlty : Don't forget the picture, Basil.
Basil Fawlty : I won't dear, leave it to me.
Sybil Fawlty : I'm going out now. I expect it to be up when I get back.
Basil Fawlty : Drive carefully, dear...
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Basil Fawlty : Thank you, dear. Thank you so much. I don't know where I'd be without you - Land of the Living, probably.
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Basil Fawlty : ...Arh, Lord Melbury. May I introduce my wife?
Lord Melbury : Yes, we have meet.
Basil Fawlty : My wife, may I introduce your lordship.
Sybil Fawlty : Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out.
Basil Fawlty : Splendid, splendid.
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Sybil Fawlty : What are you doing?
Basil Fawlty : I'm kissing you, dear.
Sybil Fawlty : Well, don't.
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Basil Fawlty : Ah, good evening, Major.
Major Gowen : Evening, Fawlty.
Basil Fawlty : The usual?
Major Gowen : [looking at his watch] Er... er... oh, why not, indeed, why not?
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Danny Brown : Oh, 'allo. Can I have some wine please?
Basil Fawlty : The waiter is busy, sir, but I will bring you the carte des vin when I have finished attending to this gentleman.
Danny Brown : Oh, fine - no hurry.
Basil Fawlty : Oh, good, how nice, how very thoughtful...
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Basil Fawlty : Well, I'd better put the picture up... Oh... thank you Polly for the... well done, Manuel.
Manuel : Qué?
Basil Fawlty : Oh... Olé.
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Basil Fawlty : Your lordship, may I offer you a little aperitif... as our guest?
Lord Melbury : That's very kind of you... dry sherry if you please.
Basil Fawlty : [to the Major] What else? Such... oh, I don't know what...
Major Gowen : Je ne sais quoi?
Basil Fawlty : Exactly! Exactly!
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Basil Fawlty : Sybil, look! If we can attract this class of customer, I mean, the sky's the limit!
Sybil Fawlty : Basil, 22 rooms is the limit!
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Basil Fawlty : My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris, arriving this evening. For two nights. You see, they saw our advertisement in Country Life.
Sybil Fawlty : I wish they were staying a week.
Basil Fawlty : Well, so do I.
Sybil Fawlty : Might pay for the ad then.
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Basil Fawlty : I mean, have you seen the people in room six? They've never even sat on chairs before. They are the commonest, vulgarest, most...
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Sybil Fawlty : Well, I've never seen such tatty cases.
Basil Fawlty : Of course you haven't. It's only the true upper class that would have tat like that. It's the whole point!
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Basil Fawlty : Now, about my priceless collection of coins?
Lord Melbury : Oh, yes, ah, do you still...
Basil Fawlty : Do I still want you to take them to be valued by the Duke of Buckleigh, milord?
Lord Melbury : Ah, yes.
Basil Fawlty : No, I don't. Because we've just heard that the Duke of Buckleigh is dead! Yes, got his head knocked off by a golf ball. Tragic! Tragic!