Fawlty Towers (TV Series)
Basil the Rat (1979)
Prunella Scales: Sybil Fawlty
Photos
Quotes
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Basil Fawlty : Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life anymore!
Sybil Fawlty : And then you open a hotel.
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[Polly struggles to keep Mr. Carnegie, the health inspector, from learning of Manuel's pet rat Basil, named after Basil Fawlty, running loose in the hotel]
Manuel : The Major try to kill Basil!
Sybil Fawlty : Kill BASIL?
Manuel : No, not Mr. Fawlty. I mean Basil, my little...
Polly : [suddenly, before Manuel can say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector] RATATOUILLE!
Mr. Carnegie : Basil the little...
Polly : Ratatouille. The chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil' because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
Manuel : He put Basil in the ratatouille?
Polly : Yes!
Manuel : ARGGGHHHHHHHH!
[Manuel runs off to the kitchen screaming, Polly following]
Sybil Fawlty : [charmingly to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.
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Sybil Fawlty : [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be simplest to have him put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty : Who? Him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done.
Manuel : 'Spleep'?
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Basil Fawlty : Do sit down, Mr. Carnegie.
Sybil Fawlty : He just has, Basil.
Mr. Carnegie : On a plate of veal.
Basil Fawlty : Has it put you off?
Mr. Carnegie : What?
Basil Fawlty : Has it put you off the veal, at all?
Mr. Carnegie : Well, I'm not eating THAT one if THAT'S what you mean!
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[Last lines, as Manuel drags the unconscious Basil across the room in the background]
Sybil Fawlty : I'm afraid it's started to rain again.
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Sybil Fawlty : They all said, at one time or another, how on Earth did the two of us ever get together. "Black magic," my mother says.
Basil Fawlty : Well, she'd know, wouldn't she? Her and that cat.
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Sybil Fawlty : I cannot abide cruelty to living creatures.
Basil Fawlty : Well, I'm a creature, you can abide it to me.
Sybil Fawlty : You're not living.
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Basil Fawlty : Look at it from the point of view of the rat.
Sybil Fawlty : What?
Basil Fawlty : Well, would you want to spend the rest of your life with Manuel waiting on you?
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Sybil Fawlty : Well what are you going to do with it?
Basil Fawlty : I don't know. I'll take it away. Let it go. Give it it's freedom.
Sybil Fawlty : You can't do that, Basil. He wouldn't be able to defend himself.
Basil Fawlty : He's a rat, isn't he?
Sybil Fawlty : Well he's domesticated.
[to the rat]
Sybil Fawlty : Aren't you?
Basil Fawlty : Well, you're domesticated. You do alright. He's not going to get mugged by a gang of field mice, is he?
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Mr. Carnegie : I couldn't help noticing you had some veal over here...
Basil Fawlty : Veal?
Sybil Fawlty : Yes, it's Dutch.
Basil Fawlty : Well, it's not Dutch, actually. It's, uh, Norwegian.
Sybil Fawlty : Norwegian?
Basil Fawlty : Yes. Not the absolute apex, quite honestly.
Sybil Fawlty : Terry, the veal is Dutch, isn't it?
Terry : Norwegian, Mrs. Fawlty.
Mr. Carnegie : I've been in this business 20 years, I've never heard of Norwegian veal.
Basil Fawlty : Well, they've only just branched into it. You know, I don't think it's a winner, frankly, more of a veal substitute. It's got a lot of air pockets in it, that sort of thing.
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Mr. Carnegie : [reacting to the sound of gunshots] God! What was that?
Basil Fawlty : Bloody television exploding again. I'll deal with it, you go upstairs.
Mr. Carnegie : That was a gun!
Sybil Fawlty : Yes, it did sound like it, didn't it?
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Sybil Fawlty : Here's your veal, Mr. Carnegie. Sorry for the delay.
Ronald : He's just been given veal!
Basil Fawlty : Uh, no, no. That's, uh, veal substitute.
Ronald : Veal substitute?
Basil Fawlty : Yes, it's not very good. It got rather held up on the boat. On the way over from, uh...
Polly : Japan.
Basil Fawlty : Norway. It's a... it's sort of a... Japo-Scandinavian imitation veal substitute, and I'm afraid that's the last slice, anyway.