Fawlty Towers (TV Series)
Gourmet Night (1975)
Allan Cuthbertson: Colonel Hall
Photos
Quotes
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Colonel Hall : Waitress.
Polly : Yes?
Colonel Hall : There's a hair in my mousse.
Polly : Well, don't talk too loud. Everybody will want one.
Colonel Hall : WHAT?
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Mrs. Hall : [screams of disgust] Aaargh! Oooh!
Colonel Hall : What is it, Pebbles? What's the matter?
Basil Fawlty : Is everything alright?
Mrs. Hall : Oh, I think I am going to be sick!
Basil Fawlty : It is an unusual taste, isn't it?
Mrs. Hall : It is not cooked, you ignoramus!
Colonel Hall : What are you trying to do to us, Fawlty? Do you mean that's raw?
Basil Fawlty : Oh, would you prefer a cooked one?
Colonel Hall : Of course she would prefer a cooked one!
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Basil Fawlty : So, uh, this is your new menu.
Colonel Hall : [reading] Duck with orange; duck with cherries; duck surprise.
Mrs. Hall : What's duck surprise?
Basil Fawlty : Er... that's duck without orange or cherries.
Colonel Hall : I mean, is this all there is - duck?
Basil Fawlty : Umm... yes... done, of course, in three extremely different ways.
Colonel Hall : And what do you do if you don't like duck?
Basil Fawlty : Ah, well, if you don't like duck, uhhh, you're rather stuck.
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Colonel Hall : [ordering drinks] Two small and dry.
Basil Fawlty : [taking it as a disparaging remark against Mrs. Hall] Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Colonel Hall : What?
Basil Fawlty : I don't know...
Colonel Hall : Two small dry sherries!
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Basil Fawlty : Ah, Colonel! How delightful to see you again.
Colonel Hall : Sorry?
Basil Fawlty : How delightful to see you again. We met last year at the golf club dinner dance, you may remember.
Colonel Hall : No, I don't.
Basil Fawlty : Ah, fine, well, we... we didn't talk for long. Just, 'Good evening,' really, you know. A blink of the eye and you would've missed it. As indeed you did. Quite understandably.
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Colonel Hall : Who are you? I mean, I don't know your name!
Basil Fawlty : [to Sybil] What is it?
Sybil Fawlty : What?
Basil Fawlty : My name.
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Basil Fawlty : I'm afraid you were given the wrong menus. Uh, this is tonight's menu.
Colonel Hall : What?
Basil Fawlty : Uh, yes... I'm afraid the, uh, chef changed his mind and forgot to tell us. He's like that. Brilliant, but temperamental.
Colonel Hall : What? He's changed everything?
Basil Fawlty : I'm afraid so. Yes, it wasn't good enough, so he just chucked it away. He's such a perfectionist.
Mrs. Twitchen : The lobster?
Basil Fawlty : Lobster, tournedos, you name it, it's in the bin.
Mr. Twitchen : How extraordinary.
Basil Fawlty : Yes. Lucky old bin, I say.