- Simon: Are you Alliance?
- Jubal Early: Am I a lion?
- Simon: What?
- Jubal Early: I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well though, I have a mighty roar.
- Simon: I said "Alliance."
- Jubal Early: Oh, I thought...
- Simon: No, I was...
- Jubal Early: That's weird.
- Jayne Cobb: Wha - are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast.
- Jayne Cobb: She's in Congress?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.
- Jubal Early: You folks are all insane.
- Dr. Simon Tam: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.
- Jayne: Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
- Inara Serra: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.
- Jubal Early: All right, that's all the hide-and-seek I got time for. I know you're on this ship, little girl, so here's how this goes. You show yourself, we finish this exchange, or your brother's brains will be flying every which-a-way. You understand, I'm sort of on the clock here. It's frustrating.
- River: You're wrong, Early.
- Jubal Early: I'm not wrong, dumpling, I will shoot your brother dead if you don't...
- River: Wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They didn't want her here, but she couldn't make herself to leave. So she melted. Melted away. They didn't know she could do that, but she did.
- Jubal Early: I'm not sure I take your meaning there.
- River: I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship. I am the ship.
- Simon: River...
- River: River's gone.
- Jubal Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?
- River: You're talking to "Serenity." And Early, "Serenity" is very unhappy.
- [River's voice is gone]
- Jubal Early: Where'd she go?
- Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship. Don't look at me.
- [after River gets a hold of one of Jayne's guns]
- Jayne: Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction. I didn't make her crazy. Hell, I didn't even want 'er on the ship.
- Mal: Is that the direction you want this conversation to go in?
- Jayne: Just don't wanna take a lashin' for something I ain't the cause of.
- Zoë: Where's River at now?
- Mal: In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
- Wash: That's a little extreme, isn't it?
- Jayne: Anybody remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?
- Wash: Wacky fun.
- Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
- Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
- Zoë: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
- Jayne: Butcher's knife!
- Zoë: Anyone we can't spare.
- Jubal Early: Where's your sister?
- Dr. Simon Tam: I don't know. Who do you work for?
- Jubal Early: This is her room.
- Dr. Simon Tam: Yes.
- Jubal Early: It's empty.
- Dr. Simon Tam: I know.
- Jubal Early: So is it still a room when it's empty? Does the room, the thing, have purpose? Or do we - what's the word?
- Dr. Simon Tam: I really can't help you.
- Jubal Early: The plan's to take your sister; get the reward, which is substantial - "imbue", that's the word.
- Dr. Simon Tam: So you're a bounty hunter.
- Jubal Early: No, that ain't it at all.
- Dr. Simon Tam: Then what are you?
- Jubal Early: I'm a bounty hunter.
- Jubal Early: You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?
- Dr. Simon Tam: What'd he do?
- Jubal Early: Who?
- Dr. Simon Tam: The midget.
- Jubal Early: Arson. The man loved fire.
- Jubal Early: I only hurt people because they keep getting in the way of me finding you. Tell her.
- Simon: What am I? Your advocate?
- Jubal Early: You are starting now.
- Simon: He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
- [River laughs]
- Jubal Early: You folks are all insane.
- Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.
- Jubal Early: You ever been shot?
- Simon: No.
- Jubal Early: You oughta be shot. Or stabbed, lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you know? Know what kind of pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?
- Simon: I don't think my last act in this verse is gonna be betraying my sister.
- Jubal Early: You're gonna help me. 'Cause every second you're with me is a chance to turn the tables, get the better of me. Maybe you'll find your moment. Maybe I'll slip. Or, you refuse to help me, I shoot your brain out, and I go upstairs and spend some time violating the little mechanic I got trussed up in the engine room. I take no pleasure in the thought, but she will die, weeping, if you cross me.
- Simon: You're out of your mind.
- Jubal Early: That's between me and my mind. Let's start with these rooms.
- Zoë: I can take this guy out.
- River Tam: He's faster than you - all of you. And he's wearing armor.
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: What about his face? Is his face wearing armor?
- Jubal Early: That's some nonsensical crap. Ain't nobody can do that. You somewhere on this boat. Somewhere with a com, playing games.
- [River laughs]
- Jubal Early: That's somewhat unsettling.
- River: I don't belong... dangerous like you. Can't be controlled... can't be trusted. Everyone could just go on without me and not have to worry. People could be who they wanted to be, could be with the people they wanted. Live simple. No secrets.
- Simon: No...
- River: I'll be fine. I'll be your bounty, Jubal Early. And I'll just fade away.
- Jayne Cobb: So like, never?
- Book: Well, no.
- Jayne Cobb: Not ever never?
- Book: Some orders allow Shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.
- Jayne Cobb: But, I mean, you still got the urge. They don't... cut it off, or nothin'?
- Book: Mm, no, I'm more or less intact. I just... direct my energy elsewhere.
- Jayne Cobb: You mean like masturbatin'?
- Book: I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself.
- Jayne Cobb: Oh, yeah, that'll be the day.
- Jayne Cobb: It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne, it's got a ring to it.
- Book: I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.
- Jayne Cobb: I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?
- Book: Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.
- Jayne Cobb: You made that sound kinda ominous.
- Jubal Early: Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?
- Kaylee: You couldn't possibly!
- Dr. Simon Tam: No, I wish I was lying. I just - you know, we'd all ust made surgeon. That was it. We were the elite. The world was ours, you know?
- Kaylee: So - so you had to be naked?
- Dr. Simon Tam: Naked, yes. And, uh, on top of the statue of Hippocrates. Can you just picture me?
- Kaylee: What, naked? Oh, well, hmm. Let's see. I'm gonna have to conjure up, uh yeah, that's - that's gonna be difficult.
- [laughing]
- Kaylee: So, did the Feds come?
- Dr. Simon Tam: Mm. There were no Feds. Until I started singing.
- Kaylee: [laughs] Oh, no.
- Dr. Simon Tam: No, this - this is not funny. This is a morality tale about the evils of sake.
- [Sees River, his thoughts are heard]
- Dr. Simon Tam: I would be there right now.
- [Speaking and laughing again]
- Dr. Simon Tam: I mean, it was - it was - it was either - it was either that or National Anthem. I - reports vary.
- Kaylee: You don't remember any of this?
- Dr. Simon Tam: I remember talking the Feds out of telling my father. Or - or paying the Feds out telling my father. I get fuzzy on aspects.
- River: [Having taken a gun away from River, Mal looks at Simon] This here is a recipe for unpleasantness. Does she understand that?
- River: [Before Simon can speak] She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
- Mal: [Looking at River] Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction. No touching guns, okay?
- River: No touching.
- [She nods as she runs away]
- River: You're not welcome here anymore, Early.
- Jubal Early: Do you think I'm gonna leave here empty-handed?
- River: I know it.
- Jubal Early: Doesn't anybody care that I have a finely crafted gun pointed at this boy's head?
- River: I care.
- Jubal Early: Then are you gonna come out and stop me from doing what I don't want to? You gonna be smart here, River?
- [River doesn't respond]
- Jubal Early: River? Serenity?
- Mal: You know, the only thing you're gonna find in New Melbourne is fish and fish related activities so unless you got the overwhelming urge to gut sturgeon... and who hasn't occasionally...
- [Mal has just taken one of Jayne's guns from River]
- Mal: Fully loaded, safety off. This here is a recipe for unpleasantness.
- Inara Serra: [about Jubal Early] Any chance that shiong-mung duh kwong-run might survive?
- [xiong meng de kung ren: violent lunatic]
- Mal: Air he had left, I'd say his chance'd be about one in... a very large number.
- Jubal Early: Yeah, well, you know me real well.
- River: Wish I didn't. You like to hurt folk.
- Jubal Early: It's part of the job.
- River: It's why you took the job. Power, control, pain. Your mother knew. Sadness in her when she waved good-bye. She's relieved. Saw darkness in you. You're not well.
- Jubal Early: You ever been raped?
- [Kaylee looks at him in shock]
- Kaylee: The captain is right down that hallway he can hear you...
- Jubal Early: The captain's locked in his quarters. They all are. There's nobody can help you. Say it.
- [she begins to cry]
- Kaylee: There's - there's nobody can help me.
- Jubal Early: I'm gonna tie you up now. And you know what I'm gonna do then?
- [shakes her head]
- Jubal Early: I'm gonna give you a present. Get rid of a problem you've got. And I won't touch you in any wrong fashion, nor hurt you at all, unless you make some kind of ruckus. You throw a monkey wrench into my dealings in any way, your body is forfeit. Ain't nothing but a body to me. And I can find all unseemly manner of use for it.
- Jubal Early: You made the right move, darling. Best for you to go home with old Early.
- Mal: You think so? Some of us feel differently.