Futurama (TV Series)
Space Pilot 3000 (1999)
Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Smitty, Richard Nixon's Head, Ipgee, Man with Newspaper
Photos
Quotes
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[Fry is with Bender in a suicide booth, thinking it's a telephone booth]
Suicide Booth Recording : Please select mode of death. Quick and painless, or slow and horrible.
Fry : Yes, I'd like to make a collect call.
Suicide Booth Recording : You have selected slow and horrible.
Bender : Good choice.
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[after escaping a suicide booth, Fry and Bender are in a bar, Bender is telling Fry about his life]
Bender : I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do.
Fry : Were you any good?
Bender : Are you kidding? I was a star. I could bend a girder to any angle. 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it. 31... But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for.
Fry : What for?
Bender : Suicide booths.
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[Fry and Leela meet]
Fry : Can I ask you a question?
Leela : As long as it's not about my eye.
Fry : Uhh...
Leela : Is it about my eye?
Fry : Sort of.
Leela : [sighs] Just ask the question.
Fry : What's with the eye?
Leela : I'm an alien.
Fry : [excited] Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the Earth?
Leela : No, I just work here.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Would you three by chance be interested in joining my new spaceship crew?
Bender : New crew? Well, what happened to the old crew?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, those poor sons of bi... But that's not important.
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[first lines]
Fry : [offscreen] Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.
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Leela : He's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd rather not force it on him.
Ipgee : Well, too bad, because it's your job, whether you like it or not. And it's my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do. Very much. Now get back to work!
[Leela leaves grumbling]
Ipgee : Life is good.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [after taking a DNA test with Fry] By God I am your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!
Bender : Can we have some money, now?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh my no.
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[Fry drops Nixon, spilling his head on the floor]
Richard Nixon's Head : [angry] That's it. You just made my list.
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Fry : I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.
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Fry : Look, I don't understand this world, but you obviously do, so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, then I will.
[he holds out his hand for Leela to implant the occupation chip; instead, she removes hers]
Fry : Your chip. What are you doing?
Leela : Quitting.
Fry : Why?
Leela : Because I've always wanted to. I just never realized it until I met you.
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Fry : Wait a second. You're a bender, right. We could escape if you would just bend the bars.
Bender : Dream on, skintube! I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a debender?
Fry : Who cares what you're programmed to do? If someone programmed you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?
Bender : I'll have to check my program.
[pause]
Bender : Yep.
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Fry : Are we going to fly all over space, fighting monsters and teaching alien women how to love?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : If by that you mean delivering cargo, then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Fry : Cool. What's my job gonna be?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : You're gonna make sure the cargo reaches its destination.
Fry : So, I'm a delivery boy?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Exactly.
Fry : All right! I'm a delivery boy!
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Leonard Nimoy : Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.
Fry : Spock? Hey, do the thing!
[does Vulcan salute]
Leonard Nimoy : I don't do that anymore.
Fry : This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Leonard Nimoy : We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.
Caretaker : Feeding time!
[Caretaker drops food flakes on jar; Nimoy nibbles at them like a goldfish]
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Bender : Well, it was nice meeting you Fry. I'm gonna go kill myself.
Fry : Wait, you're the only friend I have!
Bender : You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry : Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender : Well, all right, but I don't want anybody thinking we're robosexuals so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I am already in my pajamas.
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Fry : [Knocks on the door before opening it] Hello? Hello? Pizza delivery for um... I.C. Wiener? Aww crud. I would have thought that at this point in my life I would be the one making the prank phone calls.
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Fry : What if I don't wanna be a delivery boy?
Turanga Leela : Then you'll be fired.
Fry : Fine.
Turanga Leela : Out of a cannon, into the sun.