Get Smart (TV Series)
Casablanca (1966)
Don Adams: Maxwell Smart
Photos
Quotes
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Maxwell Smart : [Max has been forced to take a vacation] Ok Chief, Ok. But just remember this: you'll be left all alone without my experience and know-how. You'll be making hundreds of decisions without my advice.
Chief : And loving it.
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Airport Policeman : Pardon, monsieur, are you perhaps an American tourist?
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Tremendous guess!
Airport Policeman : Well, you are dressed a little strangely. After all, the eh, temperature here is 101 degrees.
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Oh really? Well I find it quite chilly.
Airport Policeman : I find that hard to believe, monsieur.
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Would you believe comfortably cool?
Airport Policeman : I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : How do the words "heat prostration" grab ya?
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Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : What am I going to get in your dressing room that I can't get here?
Agent 99 : Me.
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Maxwell Smart : Well if there's anything I don't need at this time Chief, it's a respite. I personally want to avenge the death of my very good and dear friend doctor... whathisname.
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Maxwell Smart : [impersonating Humphrey Bogart] Look, buster, you know what's gonna happen if Sophia sees me talking to you? He's gonna slap my teeth out, then kick me in the stomach for mumbling. Now get lost.
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Maxwell Smart : Play it again, Sam.
Pianist : My name ain't Sam.
Maxwell Smart : Don't confuse me, I'm new in Casablanca.
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# 99 : What are you looking for?
Maxwell Smart : Well, I could say the Maltese Falcon, but you'd never believe me.
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Chief : This false neck is an ingenious device, Max. Who made it for you?
Maxwell Smart : The ingenious device department, Chief.
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Maxwell Smart : 13, what did you see?
Agent 13 : [hiding in a locker chewing a sandwich and drinking milk] Nothing, I'm on my lunch break.
Maxwell Smart : A man has just been murdered, doesn't that mean anything to you?
Agent 13 : Not from twelve to one.
Maxwell Smart : Listen, 13, if you don't straigten up and fly right, I'm gonna see to it that on your next assignment you're put inside of an incenerator.
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# 99 : Max, you're alright!
Maxwell Smart : Yes. He fell for the old false neck trick.
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Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Doctor. Don't move a muscle.
Dr. Pliny : Why not?
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : That's a fountain pen you're holding.
Dr. Pliny : You security men don't miss a thing, do you?
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : All public buildings are supplied with ballpoint pens, not fountain pens. It takes a trained eye like mine to detect a thing like this. One tap of this point and you could have been blown to bits. Now watch carefully while I remove the detonator.
[He starts to take the pen apart]
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Now, do you know what we're going to find in this rubber tube?
[Ink drips out of the tube onto the documents on the desk]
Dr. Pliny : [who's unimpressed by 86's deductions] Ink?
Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 : Right. We'd better get out of here fast, because that ink might activate the paper.
