Get Smart (TV Series)

Tequila Mockingbird (1969)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : [looking at a photograph]  So this is the little devil that cost Conrad Palmeter his life.

  Agent 99 : The millionaire art director? Did he own the Tequila Mockingbird?

  Maxwell Smart : Several times. When he was 30, he bought it from a Hindu sailer in the city of Tequila, Mexico. Then 10 years later it was stolen by a Chinese accountant. At the age of 52 Permetta was able to buy it back at an auction in Beirut. Then 10 years later it mysteriously disappeared again. He spend the next 50 years searching for it.

  Agent 99 : You said the Mockingbird cost him his life, Max. How did he die?

  Maxwell Smart : Old age.

• Chief : Cash in that train ticket I gave you.

  Maxwell Smart : What train ticket?

  Chief : Didn't I give you a train ticket to Tacoma?

  Maxwell Smart : No, you gave me a tramway ticket to Tehachapi.

  Chief : [interrupting]  Now stop it, right there, I don't wanna get involved in any of those tongue twisters with you, Max, the last time I did it, I couldn't talk for two days.

• Maxwell Smart : Yes sir, the one thing you never wanna do is to pull a horses tooth when he's standing up.

• Dietrick : [Max has just thrown a glass of tequila in his own face]  You forgot to open your mouth, doctor.

  Maxwell Smart : Ah yes, I, I did that deliberately, you see, I decided that I had had enough.

• Valdez : There she is, Senor Dietrick: the Tequila Mockingbird.

  Dietrick : Beautiful! Beautiful! Superb...

  Dietrick : Si, magnifico!

  Maxwell Smart : Not bad.