- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: [on the phone] Hello, operator. Would you please ring this number? It must be out of order.
- [pause]
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: Because I haven't had a call in over a week. Not even a decent wrong number.
- John Cooper: What do you want me to do?
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: Well, first you have to learn how to mumble. There's a certain way to walk and dress. Then I'll have to introduce you to the Monkey, the Jerk, and the Dog.
- John Cooper: Fine, fine. I want to meet all your friends.
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: Those are dances.
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: [to Russell] I'm very open about Jeff. All I do is talk about Jeff and how much implicit faith and trust we have in each other. I let the fellas know, right off, that I could never be interested in them, so they don't have to waste any time being interested in me.
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: Ergo, if everybody notices them, they're bound to notice me if I'm with one of them.
- Professor Russell Lawrence: Ergo, absolutely no. Before I'd let you go out with somebody like that, I'd take you myself.
- Frances "Gidget" Lawrence: You prefer I commit instant social suicide? Go with my father? In this day and age?