- Guy on tape: Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face? When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see her face? When something wonderful happens in your life, a promotion at work, a successful refinancing, who do you want to share the news with? Do you see her face? Whose face appears to you, my friend? Whose face?
- Luke: Wow.
- Rory Gilmore: Hello?
- Lorelai: They know.
- Rory Gilmore: Who knows?
- Lorelai: The cats. They know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone, and they've decided that it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady.
- Shel Sauceman: You know they say pretty women aren't funny because they never had to be... Were you a fat child?
- Lorelai: [Lorelai speaking of her to-do list for the inn] Hey, do you know that if the entire population of China walked by, the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? That's my list, every Chinese person in the world.
- Luke: [walking into Jess' run down apartment] Hey neighbor! The guys next door just ran out of crack to sell so they sent me over to borrow a cup.
- Luke: What are you doing?
- Lorelai: I need coffee.
- Luke: It's 5 in the morning, make coffee at your own house.
- Lorelai: I did, I drank it all.
- Luke: You drank all the coffee in your house before 5 in the morning?
- Lorelai: Big gulps, lots of sugar.
- Luke: Alright get up.
- Lorelai: [laughing] ... and just a little bit of cream cuz it makes it cold.
- Luke: Oh, Jess, come on. You did this completely wrong. Open two-way communication is the foundation of love, and you cut that off. I had this friend -- let's call him Phillip -- who thought expressing intimacy was a favor to his partner, but expressions of intimacy should be given freely and frequently. He loved Judy, but he used his love as a bargaining tool.
- Jess Mariano: Who the hell is Judy?
- Luke: Phillip's wife. We call her Judy.
- Jess Mariano: I wasn't bargaining.
- Luke: You were bargaining. You had expectations out of line with what you deserved. You don't nurture.
- Jess Mariano: Where are you getting this junk?
- Luke: Life. I've lived.
- Jess Mariano: What, in a Bette Midler movie?
- Luke: Let's get down to it. Liz told me you weren't coming to the wedding.
- Jess Mariano: No way you're here about that.
- Luke: I am here about that.
- Jess Mariano: Why?
- Luke: Why? Your mother's getting married, and you're not coming.
- Jess Mariano: No biggie. I'll just catch the next one.
- Lorelai: Oh, man, I'm so completely stressed. I can't remember what I'm doing from one moment to the next. It's never gonna get done.
- Luke: It will get done.
- Lorelai: No, it won't get done, and the inn won't open, and then I'll go broke. How do you do it?
- Luke: Do what? Go broke?
- Lorelai: No -- run this place, handle all the stress?
- Luke: The place isn't stressful.
- Lorelai: It's not?
- Luke: Well, actually, at this moment, it is a little.
- Luke: [to Jess] But you know what? Tonight was good. Tonight something happened to me. I achieved this great sense of calm. No more anger, no more frustration. Live and let live. You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm gonna stop trying. I wish I'd felt this earlier. Then I wouldn't have dragged you down here. I apologize for that.
- Luke: Wow. The staircase is beautiful. Hey, Tom.
- Tom: Luke.
- Luke: Yeah, nice work here. But you used glue. I thought with a banister...
- Tom: Oh, are you gonna kibitz?
- Luke: What?
- Tom: Guys who know a little about construction -- they build a birdbath, install a towel bar -- makes them think they know something, so they come in, they kibitz, offer a lot of free advice on things they don't know anything about. I got a low tolerance for that right now.
- Luke: I'm not gonna kibitz.
- Tom: Okay. And stop touching my banister.
- Lorelai: Talking is not my parents' thing. It would humiliate them if they knew that we knew that they are... whatever they are.
- Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
- Sookie St. James: As late as you want -- Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
- Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
- Sookie St. James: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
- Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
- Sookie St. James: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
- Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
- Sookie St. James: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
- Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
- Sookie St. James: He's sleeping with the zucchini.
- Michel Gerard: She's said it four times. You're very slow tonight.
- Lorelai: Oh my God.
- Sookie St. James: Well, you said to do whatever it takes to make sure we have fresh zucchini.
- Lorelai: Within the realm of reason.
- Sookie St. James: Oh, NOW you add that.
- Lorelai: [Lorelai is sitting in Luke's empty diner. Kirk enters] Oh, hey, Kirk.
- [Kirk stands beside Lorelai's table]
- Lorelai: Something wrong?
- Kirk Gleason: I wanted to sit there.
- Lorelai: Seriously?
- Kirk Gleason: Of course seriously. Why do you think I'm here this early? I wanted to get that table.
- Lorelai: Every single other table in here is empty.
- Kirk Gleason: Except the one I want.
- Lorelai: [sighs, getting up to move] Fine.
- Kirk Gleason: You have to understand that on days when Lulu is working, I have very little in my life.
- Lorelai: I know, Kirk.
- Kirk Gleason: This table is a small thing, but it makes me happy. It gives me a sense of power over my life, a little control in a world where very little is controllable.
- Lorelai: Kirk.
- Kirk Gleason: What?
- Lorelai: I moved. Your table's free.
- Kirk Gleason: Oh. Well... thanks.
- Lorelai: You're welcome.
- Kirk Gleason: [noticing the new spot] Boy, the light over here is excellent.
- Luke: You are gonna regret this.
- Jess Mariano: I doubt it.
- Luke: No, you are. If you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together and drop this selfish self-destructive behavior that you are so fond of, if that ever happens, you are gonna look back on this moment and you are gonna feel like a big steaming mound of crap that you missed this. This could have been a turning point. You could have witnessed something good for your mother who, yes, has screwed up a bit in her life but now seems to have found something to make her happy, and you miss that, you refuse to be a part of that, you are gonna be very sorry.