- Emily: Now let's talk about your money. You were a two-bit gold-digger fresh off the bus from Hicksville when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to chose you to marry amongst the pack of women he was bedding at the time I'll never know. But hats off to you for bagging him. He's still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down thirty pounds every other month. But that's your cross to bear. But these are ugly realities, no one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together for as long as they like. You won't stop them... Now enjoy the event!
- Jackson Belleville: So did anyone see that new show on TV last night?
- Lorelai Gilmore: The one where they were solving crimes by cutting bodies open and poking their organs?
- Jackson Belleville: No.
- Sookie St. James: The one where they're solving crimes from thirty years ago by going to graveyards and cutting open bodies and poking their organs?
- Jackson Belleville: No.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, the one where people are missing, and then they find their bodies and cut them open and poke their organs and that's how they solve crimes?
- Jackson Belleville: No.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What else is on?
- Paris Geller: What do I do?
- Rory Gilmore: You'll just have to do what everyone else who needs money has to do.
- Paris Geller: What's that?
- Rory Gilmore: What people do.
- Paris Geller: What am I, a mindreader?
- Rory Gilmore: Get a job.
- Paris Geller: A job. I've never had a job. I don't know the first thing about having a job. All I've got on my resume is academic achievements, which will mean doodly-squat when I'm in line with eleven thousand people vying for an opening in the gardening department at Walmart.
- Rory Gilmore: Shira Huntzberger is here.
- Paris Geller: Logan's mom?
- Rory Gilmore: And she showed up with no warning. No RSVP, no donation to the cause that I know of. Just sashayed in, expecting everyone to fall at her feet.
- Paris Geller: I hate that.
- Rory Gilmore: I hate her. Hate! Strong, unadulterated, blind... Uurrghh!
- Paris Geller: Wow. You're always so Desmond Tutu-ey. This is refreshing.
- Rory Gilmore: I should tell her to leave. I should march up to her and tell her to grab those arrogance-dripping, petulance-oozing, surgically cosmeticized bims she brought along and hit the bricks.
- Paris Geller: I bet they all have money, too. Every one of those commodity fetishists.
- Rory Gilmore: How can she expect a table? The tables are for the people who are polite enough to respond to an invitation in the proper manner.
- Paris Geller: I bet you the Romanovs never RSVP'd either. They got theirs. Capitalist scum.
- Emily: Rory threw out the entire menu for the Fort Drum event. I mean, granted, Constance was going with Cornish game hen, been there, done that. And her fetish for Brussels sprouts is upsetting. But to throw out the entire menu? So close to the event?
- Richard Gilmore: I can't say that I'm a big fan of DAR cuisine. So I may not be of much help.
- Emily: I'm trying not to butt in, but how can I not worry?
- Richard Gilmore: [Opens book] By not thinking about it.
- Emily: Is there still a USO?
- Richard Gilmore: I think so. Why?
- Emily: That's the theme, the USO. Or that's where it's being held. Oh, my god, she didn't change the menu and the location? Is that possible?
- Richard Gilmore: You should ask her.
- Emily: I'm trying to keep out of it.
- Richard Gilmore: You're doing a terrific job.
- Emily: She's not serving salmon puffs. We've never not served salmon puffs. Not in 25 years have we staged an event without salmon puffs.
- Richard Gilmore: Emily, please. It's Rory. What she tackles, she conquers. This girl could name the state capitals at three. Recite the periodic table at four. Discuss Schopenhauer's influence on Nietzsche when she was ten. She's read every book by every author with a Russian surname and had a 4.2 grade-point average at one of the toughest schools on the east coast. If she's excluding salmon puffs, she has a good reason to exclude salmon puffs. And I, for one, have complete confidence in her ability to tackle this job, and so should you.
- [Goes back to his book]
- Emily: [Wistful] Salmon puffs...
- Lorelai Gilmore: I was only thinking of you when I mentioned the camping. You haven't been camping since we got together, and I was feeling weird about that. You should do the things you like.
- Luke Danes: I do do the things I like.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Well, I wasn't getting rid of you. I want you to do whatever you want to do with me. I know that sounded dirty, and dirty things count, but I didn't mean the dirty things. You and me can hang whenever, wherever.