Girls on Top (TV Series)
Cancel Toast (1985)
Tracey Ullman: Candice
Quotes
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[Shelley runs to the tanning bedroom with her fur coat]
Candice : [sees the receptionist] Excuse me, have you seen a redheaded wreck anywhere?
Receptionist : No.
[the receptionist sees Shelley pigging out in the room]
Receptionist : [screams] AAAAAHHHH! Get her out, it's disgusting, get her out! That's breaking all the house rules!
Candice : [sees this] Shell!
Receptionist : I'm sorry, we don't allow cholesterol in this club! Shelley, you're banned!
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Shelley : [storms in the room, totally depressed] Okay, crisis! There's been a burglary in the fridge! I had TWELVE cans of Single-Cal in there, and now I have ELEVEN! And it wouldn't take Kojak to figure out who's the hoover of the eats world around here, Amanda!
Amanda : Excuse me, is that an official accusation? I mean, are you calling me a thief? Because all property is theft in my book, Shelley. Well, it's not my book, I mean, it's the people's book...
Shelley : Okay, spill, Amanda!
Amanda : Look, Shelley, I would not drink something that has been scientifically proven to KILL laboratory rats!
Shelley : [yells] It has one calorie, lay off!
Candice : [yells sarcastically, American accent] IT HAS ONE CALORIE, LAY OFF!
Shelley : [loses it] THAT'S IT! I am SICK of hearing my accent vandalized around here! I have trained my resonators to sound like this! THIS IS STANDARD BBC QUEEN'S TONGUE ENGLISH! OKAY!
[Amanda and Candice cover their ears from her screaming as Shelley bolts into her bedroom]