- Michael Evans: [after James dragged Eddie into the master bedroom to whoop him] Mom, is dad really going to give Eddie a spanking?
- Florida Evans: Is a bean green?
- James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Can James Brown get down?
- Florida Evans: [Watching Eddie jump off the couch after trying to sit down after his whooping] Looks like he got the Big Mac after all.
- Eddie: [after he got whooped by James] Bet that made you feel good!
- James Evans, Sr.: Didn't make me feel bad.
- Florida Evans: [Sitting down for dinner, Eddie helps himself] Um, Eddie, in this house, we pray before we eat.
- Eddie: [Doesn't stop] Oh, I don't mind. Go right ahead.
- [James then grabs his hand and forces the spoon out of it then puts it back, all while glaring at him]
- James Evans, Sr.: [Eddie tries to ditch studying] Hey! Where you think you goin'?
- Eddie: Hey, man, Michael's studying. I don't wanna bother him.
- James Evans, Sr.: Yeah, well, you get back in there and finish, "man". Cause, see, people in this house study when they supposed to.
- Eddie: Good thing I'm not a member of this house.
- [Eddie tries to walk off but James pulls him back]
- James Evans, Sr.: Well, you are, this weekend.
- Eddie: [snatches away] What's that supposed to mean?
- James Evans, Sr.: Well, you heard of the extended family? Well, this week, you are in one, which give me the right to extend this belt to your behind if I feel like it.
- Eddie: Ho-ho! I'd like to see that!
- James Evans, Sr.: [starts unfastening his belt] Oh you would, huh? Well, anything to oblige a guest.