Grounded for Life (TV Series)
Cuts Like a Knife (2003)
Donal Logue: Sean Finnerty
Quotes
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Sean Finnerty : [Trying to psych himself up] It's okay. It's just a vasectomy. Perfectly routine. In a few years they'll probably have a home kit.
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Sean Finnerty : [Whining about his scheduled vasectomy] So, the good news is: we're not pregnant. The bad news is: they're snipping my nads off!
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Claudia Finnerty : Daddy like?
Sean Finnerty : Yeah! Daddy like!
[Faking a British accent]
Sean Finnerty : You have a kind of Emma Peel thing going on.
Claudia Finnerty : [Grabbing hold of him] I don't know who that is, but keep talking!
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Eddie Finnerty : [Responding to Sean's claim of sensitivity after his non-existent vasectomy] So, where was that sensitivity yesterday?
[Flashing back to a one-on-one basketball game, where Sean repeatedly hip checks Eddie]
Sean Finnerty : It comes and goes.
Eddie Finnerty : Oh, I get it: you're lying.
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Sean Finnerty : [Bursts into the examination room, where the doctor and nurse are treating another patient] I'm here about this bill for a vasectomy!
Dr. Weidlinger : Which you didn't get! Three times!
Sean Finnerty : I've changed my mind! I want it now!
Dr. Weidlinger : I wouldn't give you a vasectomy if you were the last man on Earth!
Sean Finnerty : I wouldn't need a vasectomy if I was the last man on Earth and you wouldn't be around to give it to me! So, HA!
Dr. Weidlinger : Okay! You win! But you can pay me anyway!
Sean Finnerty : For what?
Dr. Weidlinger : For services rendered!
Sean Finnerty : There were no services rendered!
[the doctor makes a circling motion over the supine patient's groin]
Sean Finnerty : $750 for a shave?
Dr. Weidlinger : Its a union job!
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Sean Finnerty : [Flashing back to his vasectomy meltdown] So, what's next?
Dr. Weidlinger : You need to be shaved.
[a dorky-looking male nurse enters with the shaving implements and Sean freaks out]
Eddie Finnerty : [Returning to the present] Actually, if it's done right, it feels kinda nice.
