- Jill Taylor: [the family's out camping and Tim just got back from the car] Oh thank God, I was getting worried. I heard this awful howling.
- Tim Taylor: Oh, that was me. Couldn't find any leaves, had to use a pine cone.
- [reading Brad's Valentine's Day poem]
- Tim Taylor: "I think you're swell, I think you're sweet..." You know what could follow this?
- Brad Taylor: What?
- Tim Taylor: "How would you like to smell my feet?"
- Tim Taylor: Who would have thought that chrome cleaner was that flammable?
- Al Borland: I guess whoever put the warning on the label, Tim.