House M.D. (TV Series)
Humpty Dumpty (2005)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Quotes
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Are you being intentionally dense?
Dr. Gregory House : Huh?
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : All this from falling off my roof...
Dr. Gregory House : Yeah, if only he'd fallen on his head, then he wouldn't have any of these symptoms.
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Dr. Gregory House : [while going through Dr. Cuddy's underwear drawer] Oh my God... She's got pictures of you in here. Just you. It's like some kind of weird shrine.
Dr. Robert Chase : You're kidding.
Dr. Gregory House : Yeah.
[Closes drawer]
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Dr. Gregory House : If you're wallowing in self-loathing, I've got something that might help. We're getting sued!
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Maybe we were right to begin with: his problems are all caused by DIC precipitated by falling off of my roof.
Dr. Robert Chase : DIC wouldn't cause a fever this high.
Dr. Gregory House : See. My lapdog agrees with me.
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Dr. Gregory House : Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
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[about Cuddy]
Dr. Robert Chase : You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty.
Dr. Gregory House : Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : He has Streptobacillus.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Rat Bite Fever.
Dr. Gregory House : Boogie-oogie-oogie.
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Dr. Gregory House : Would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. Shoulda seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. *Lot* of screaming.
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Dr. Gregory House : [after Dr. Cuddy suggesting a very dangerous treatment] Looks like Cuddy. Same cleavage!
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : He loses that hand, he loses his job. All of his jobs! He's not like us!
Dr. Gregory House : He can't work as a cripple?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : He loses his home, his kid brother drops out...
Dr. Gregory House : American dream destroyed. Very sad, very emotional. Not one medical fact in the whole pathetic tale. You've lost perspective, Cuddy. You've stopped looking at this as a doctor. You're acting like someone who shoved somebody off their roof. You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right.
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Dr. Gregory House : [searching Cuddy's house for the cause of her handyman's illness]
[holds up a thong]
Dr. Gregory House : Does this count as red?