- Babalu Manager: By the way, Orson needs an assistant for his magic act, so I suggested Lucy to him.
- Ricky Ricardo: You did?
- Babalu Manager: Yes.
- Ricky Ricardo: You are fired!
- Babalu Manager: Now wait a minute, wait a minute. You don't have to blow your top. It's only a benefit.
- Ricky Ricardo: Look, whenever Lucy gets into the act nobody benefits.
- Orson Welles: How many albums would you like?
- Ethel Mertz: Well I'd like one. Just autograph it to Ethyl Mertz, please. I'd take two, only we haven't got a phonograph.
- Lucy Ricardo: I think you're the greatest Shakespearean actor in the whole world. I think you're better than John Gielgud. I think you're better than Maurice Evans. I think you're better than Sir Ralph Richardson.
- Orson Welles: You left out Laurence Olivier.
- Orson Welles: Why don't we do my favorite scene?
- Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
- Orson Welles: "For fear of that, I still will stay with thee; And never from this palace of dim night depart again"
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, that one. Well I'm already dead in that scene.
- Orson Welles: Yes.
- Orson Welles: "Here's to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die."
- Lucy Ricardo: Boy, you're a lot better than Herman Schlupp.
- Orson Welles: The princess is in a state of trance.
- Lucy Ricardo: "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"
- Orson Welles: Apparently the princess is not in a deep enough condition of trance.
- [waves his hand over her eyes and claps]
- Orson Welles: Now the princess will feel nothing and definitely speak nothing.
- Lucy Ricardo: "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"