- Lucy Ricardo: Lets see, it was either the upstairs maid, or the butler, or the cook.
- Ricky Ricardo: It was her husband.
- Lucy Ricardo: Her husband? He didn't have any reason to do it.
- Ricky Ricardo: He was married wasn't he?
- Ethel Mertz: What's the matter?
- Lucy Ricardo: You're looking at a future doornail.
- Ethel Mertz: Huh?
- Lucy Ricardo: Ricky just tried to kill me.
- Ethel Mertz: [smiling] Really? Then I'm a better fortune teller than I thought!
- [pauses]
- Ethel Mertz: What am I saying? What are you talking about?
- Lucy Ricardo: I overheard him on the phone! He's been planning this a long time, and he finally decided to do it! Last night was just a dress rehearsal.
- Ethel Mertz: Oh, no, Lucy, you must have just misunderstood him.
- Lucy Ricardo: No, I didn't, he took a shot at me already, but he missed!
- Ethel Mertz: [They look for a bullet hole] Was that the noise I heard just now?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, he bought a gun specially for it. Let's see if it's in that desk!
- Ethel Mertz: [Lucy finds a gun in the desk] Oh, you poor thing!
- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy picks up an ink blotter] Ricky wrote something when he was talking on the phone and he blotted it on this blotter!
- Ethel Mertz: [Moves away from the desk] Where are you going?
- Lucy Ricardo: The mirror!
- Ethel Mertz: Mirror? Oh, so you can read it! My, you're clever!
- Lucy Ricardo: I don't read mystery books for nothing.
- Ethel Mertz: [Reading the list] Helen, Anne, Mary... What does it mean?
- Lucy Ricardo: [Wailing] I'm not even cold yet and Ricky's lining up girls to take my place! Helen, Anne, Mary, Cynthia, Alice, Theodore.
- [Turns to Ethel]
- Lucy Ricardo: THEODORE!
- Lucy Ricardo: [Thinking Ricky has poisoned her] Ricky, no matter what you've done, I forgive you.
- [She collapses]
- Ricky Ricardo: Thank you!
- Lucy Ricardo: [Dragging herself back up before falling down again] You're welcome.
- Ricky Ricardo: Geez! That's a powerful sleeping powder!
- Lucy Ricardo: [Standing up] Sleeping powder? Ha! The sleep from which no-one returns.
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh, honey, come on, you better lie down. Let me help you lie down! Lie down, honey, lie down!
- Lucy Ricardo: Don't rush me! I'll be lying down for a long, long time.
- [Falls asleep on the couch]
- Ricky Ricardo: She seems to have some idea that I'm going to kill her.
- Fred Mertz: That doesn't mean anything. Sooner or later, every married woman decides that her husband wants to kill her. She's usually right.
- Fred Mertz: Just do what I do whenever Ethel gets over excited. Slip her a Mickey.
- Ricky Ricardo: A Mickey?
- Fred Mertz: Well not a real Mickey, just a mild sedative.
- [sorts through his pocket]
- Fred Mertz: Oh no, that's a stomach tablet... hey, here's that button I want sewn back on my pants. Here you go.
- Ricky Ricardo: Listen, if Lucy thinks I'm trying to kill her, you really think she'll take this?
- Fred Mertz: Just put it in a little soda water, and she'll never notice it.
- Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, I'm not going to shoot you.
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you been thinking, eh? A gun would make too much noise, people might hear.
- Ricky Ricardo: I don't know what's gotten into you. I'm not going to shoot you!
- Lucy Ricardo: [to herself] Fortunately I'm too big for the garbage disposal.
- Lucy Ricardo: [thinks Ricky poisoned her] How long have I got?
- Ethel Mertz: [looks in her eyes] Not long.
- Lucy Ricardo: Well I've got enough time for what I'm going to do.
- [gets up and grabs Ricky's gun]
- Ethel Mertz: Lucy, what're you going to do?
- Lucy Ricardo: I'm going down to the club to finish Ricky off. If I can't have him, nobody else will. I'm going to use the same gun he was going to use on me.