- Ethel Mertz: [Fred is installing a new door-lock on the Ricardos' front door, but it doesn't stop Ethel] What happened?
- Lucy Ricardo: You just broke through Fred's 'burglar-proof chain'.
- Ethel Mertz: Fred, can't you ever do anything right?
- Fred Mertz: [mocking Ethel in a high-pitched voice] Fred can't you ever do anything right? You're not supposed to come charging in there like a bull out of a chute.
- Ethel Mertz: If you'd'a fixed it right, it wouldn't've pulled out.
- Fred Mertz: With your weight, you could come through that wall without a door.
- Ethel Mertz: Oh, keep quiet, or I'll sit on you.
- Lucy Ricardo: [a Hollywood talent scout is scheduled to come by to hear Ricky read for a movie role] This has been going on all morning.
- Ethel Mertz: What has?
- Lucy Ricardo: People calling up, and wanting to audition tonight.
- Ethel Mertz: No kiddin'.
- Lucy Ricardo: How did they find out?
- Ethel Mertz: I don't know. I didn't tell anybody. Did you?
- Lucy Ricardo: Certainly not. I didn't tell a soul, and they all promised to keep it a secret. Y'know, I never knew this neighborhood was so full of frustrated performers. At last I found out where Vaudeville went to die.
- Lucy Ricardo: [just before an expected visit from a Hollywood talent scout, Lucy enters dressed as Marilyn Monroe to find the Mertzes dressed as a Spanish dance team] I thought we all agreed that you weren't going to do anything to ruin Ricky's chance.
- Ethel Mertz: Well you're ruining it.
- Lucy Ricardo: That's different. I'm his wife. I have a right to ruin it.