I Love Lucy (TV Series)

The Passports (1955)

Desi Arnaz: Ricky Ricardo

Quotes 

• Ricky Ricardo : Hi, everybody... I got the boat tickets... Now all we gotta do tomorrow is get our pasaports.

  Lucy Ricardo : [gently mocking Ricky's pronunciation]  Yeah, that's all we gotta do now is get our pasaports.

  Ethel Mertz : Europe, here we come.

  Fred Mertz : Look out, mademoiselle from Armentières!

  Ricky Ricardo : Honey, did you get my naturalization papers?

  Lucy Ricardo : Yeah, I got 'em out of the safe deposit box this morning.

  Ricky Ricardo : How 'bout your birthatificate?

  Lucy Ricardo : I wired the Jamestown Hall of Records, and they'll send it to me.

  Ricky Ricardo : Good.

  Fred Mertz : I got mine.

  Ricky Ricardo : Ethel?

  Ethel Mertz : Yep. I had to hunt for it, but I finally found it.

  [she pulls out a piece of paper] 

  Fred Mertz : Show it to 'em, Honey.

  Ethel Mertz : No.

  Lucy Ricardo : She doesn't want us to see the year

  Fred Mertz : Put your finger over the year. I thought they might like to see what Lincoln's signature looks like.

• Ricky Ricardo : [on the phone]  If you want to get a pasaport and you can't find your birthatificate, what do you do?

  [pause] 

  Ricky Ricardo : Pasaport!

  [pause] 

  Ricky Ricardo : Birthatificate.

  [pause] 

  Ricky Ricardo : Yes, yes, that's right. What is it? You get an affidavit from an older living blood relative... Suppose you've misplaced your older living blood relative?

  [pause] 

  Ricky Ricardo : Well you don't know this family.

• Dr. Peterson : I'm the doctor who brought your wife into the world.

  Ricky Ricardo : Oh you are? Well I don't know whether to thank you or punch you in the nose,

• Ricky Ricardo : Will somebody mind telling me what's going on here?

  Ethel Mertz : Why? You'll never believe it.

  Lucy Ricardo : Well now, I just figured maybe I'd have to stow away if I wanted to get to Europe and I knew that a seal could live in there, so I supposed maybe I could and when I tried it on for size, I got locked in it.

  Ricky Ricardo : [to Ethel]  What makes you think I wouldn't believe it?