The Jack Benny Program (TV Series)

Jack Does Christmas Shopping (1954)

Benny Rubin: Bandit

Quotes 

• Jack Benny : How much are the apples?

  fruit clerk : Oh we got a special today for the apples. Five pounds for a quarter.

  Jack Benny : Five pounds for a quarter? Well, give me one pound.

  fruit clerk : One pound a apple a coming up, yes sir.

  [puts bag of apples on the scale] 

  fruit clerk : That's a six cents.

  Jack Benny : Six cents?

  fruit clerk : Six cents.

  Jack Benny : You told me they were 25 cents for 5 pounds. I only want one pound. That's 5 cents.

  fruit clerk : Well that's right, but this weigh a little more. Looka yourself. One pound 2 ounces.

  Jack Benny : I don't want one pound 2 ounces. I want exactly one pound.

  fruit clerk : Well, alright. One pound?

  [takes an apple out of the bag, takes a bite out of it and puts it back in the bag]