- Jack Benny: Rochester, I just answered the phone and the fellow who was on the other end hung up.
- Rochester Van Jones: How do you know they hung up?
- Jack Benny: How do I know? I can hear the click. I distinctly heard the sound of a click.
- Rochester Van Jones: Maybe they were using a phone booth and the sound you heard was the dropping of a dime.
- Jack Benny: Dropping of a dime? I've know *that* sound since I was 2 years old.
- Jack Benny: [reads the note attached to a rock that just crashed through his window] "Get out of town before it's too late." Get out of town. Just a note, no ticket.
- Dennis Day: [singing an extra verse to "Love and Marriage" by Sammy Cahn] Jack and Money, Jack and Money/Go together like a bee and honey/This I'll tell you quickly/The thought of spending makes him sickly.
- Johnny Carson: Jack, I'm kind of concerned with that long take you do at the audience.
- Jack Benny: You mean you don't like that after I tell a joke, the way I stare at the audience. Is that it?
- Johnny Carson: I always have the feeling that you're surprised they're still there.