Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Golfing with the Major (1991)

Geoffrey Hughes: Onslow

Quotes 

• Onslow : If people can't penetrate unimportant surface issues, they're never gonna appreciate your fundamental qualities anyway.

  Daisy : What fundamental qualities?

  Onslow : I'm calm in a crisis. That's a fundamental quality.

  Daisy : Only because you're too bone idle to rush about in a panic

• Onslow : [Hyacinth comes into view, fleeing from the Major's unwelcome advances and covered in mud and brush from the long run]  What the heck...

  Daisy : What's happened to our Hyacinth?

  Onslow : At a rough guess, I'd say she'd been mauled by a bear!