Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Skis (1995)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : I wish you'd smile more when you're gardening, Richard.

  [with a smile, she mimes trimming a branch] 

  Richard : If I do *that* they're going to lock me away.

  Hyacinth : Try to look as though you're enjoying it, dear.

  Richard : But I don't particularly enjoy it. It's just something that has to be done.

  Hyacinth : Well, that's how it appears.

  Richard : The garden looks well enough.

  Hyacinth : Oh, it's not the garden dear; it's *you*. You look as though you're not enjoying doing it. Which gives the impression that we can't afford a gardener.

  Richard : We can't afford a gardener.

  Hyacinth : Shh, Richard! Keep your voice down, dear. *If* we can't afford a gardener, that's all the more reason why we should look as though we *can* afford a gardener. So in future, could you look like someone who enjoys doing his own gardening but could afford a gardener if he wanted to.

• [last lines] 

  Hyacinth : Richard, follow that sister!

• Hyacinth : [as Richard tries to put the skis in the car]  We're just going to my sister Violet's house. You know the one. Large house, swimming pool, room for a po-

  [Richard accidentally gooses her with the skis and she shrieks] 

  Hyacinth : NEEEEEE!

  Emmet : [laughs] 

  Hyacinth : Mind what you're doing, Richard!

  Emmet : I think that's the highest note you've hit in quite a while.