- Emmet: [Looking out the window as Onslow, Daisy, and Rose arrive at Hyacinth's house] The blonde one's there - the one that's always trying to seduce me!
- Elizabeth: [looks] Oh, yes. Rose.
- Emmet: If they're family, why is Hyacinth acting as if they're strangers?
- Elizabeth: That's the impression she likes to give.
- Emmet: You don't think the blonde one will try to force her way in, do you?
- Elizabeth: In here? Oh, I'd hardly think so.
- Emmet: I wish you'd sound a bit more optimistic!
- The van driver: [after Richard, instructed by Hyacinth, tips him to go round the block an extra time] Well, at these prices, we'll KEEP going round again!
- Richard: Hopefully once will be enough!
- Hyacinth: [answering the phone] The Bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking.
- Hyacinth: No, I cannot send round another portion of stir-fried squid with fish-balls and broccoli.
- Hyacinth: This is not the Green Lotus Chinese take-away. I may only be one digit removed, but believe me it's a whole other world.
- Hyacinth: I heard that, and it wasn't Chinese.
- Hyacinth: [Making wild hand gestures so anyone watching will think she's just giving directions to passing strangers] The point is, my suite hasn't arrived yet. I'm expecting the van any minute. So if you could clear this area and perhaps pop back later?
- [Onslow, Daisy, and Rose just stare]
- Hyacinth: After dark. WELL after dark.
- [Her family still stare blankly]
- Hyacinth: I'll have your suite waiting. You can collect it, and take it off down there, take the first turn left, and proceed along until you come as far as...
- [Realizes they're still not getting the idea]
- Hyacinth: And instead of standing there looking at me with your mouths wide open, why don't you all get back into that vehicle, drive off in that direction, take the first turn left, which will bring you to you-know-where?
- [first lines]
- Hyacinth: [on the telephone] I require your furniture department, please. The quality section, not the plywood end.
- Hyacinth: Good morning! Am I speaking to the manager? I shan't settle for anything less. Good. Now, my name is Bouquet, that's B-U-C-K-E-T.
- Hyacinth: No, it *is* Bouquet. You may remember that I called in earlier in the week to choose a three piece suite.
- Hyacinth: You do remember vividly. How very nice. Yes. That's right, I called in the week before too.
- Hyacinth: Yes, and the week before that.
- Hyacinth: Well, these things are too important to rush. Now, you remember that I finally opted for a very superior suite, which you assured me was an exact replica of one at Sandringham House.And you promised delivery today. I'm ringing to ascertain the precise time that you intend to deliver, and will it be in one of your vans with the royal warrant on?
- Hyacinth: All your vans have the royal warrant; that's good. On both sides? Because if it's only on the one side I shall want you to park facing town.
- Hyacinth: You have the royal warrant on both sides; that's very good.
- Elizabeth: [When the doorbell rings but Emmet refuses to answer it] Who's that at the door?
- Emmet: Hyacinth!
- Elizabeth: Hyacinth? Not left on the doorstep!
- Emmet: Only because I'm not big enough to throw her back onto the street!
- Elizabeth: You can't just leave her on the doorstep!
- Emmet: We can try, Liz! If we both pull together, we can try!
- Elizabeth: [Tries to get past] You've got a thing about Hyacinth.
- Emmet: [Rapid-fire] Don't let her in, she'll sing at me!
- Elizabeth: She must have had some reason to come to the door, and it can't be to sing at you!
- Emmet: [as Liz shoves by to go to the door] But she will! She'll sing at me!