- Detective Lennie Briscoe: [finds a man hiding in the closet with a golf club] You got a permit for that putter?
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: [Briscoe and Curtis have just discovered a dead man wearing women's lingerie] Always wear clean underwear. You never know when you might be in an accident.
- A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Mr. Chandler.
- Eddie Chandler: Eddie, as in Eddie Munster.
- A.D.A. Jamie Ross: You don't seem to be taking this serious at all.
- Eddie Chandler: When I was a kid and I'd come home from school, I'd watch TV for hours on end, straight through till bedtime.
- Neil Pressman: What kind of shows did you watch?
- Eddie Chandler: Cop shows, action shows: The Mod Squad, The A-Team, Starsky and Hutch.