- Penny Woods: [Beaver is visiting Penny at her house] How come you want to see me?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, uh.
- Penny Woods: I just saw you yesterday at school. You made a face at me.
- Theodore Cleaver: Gee, Penny. Everybody makes a face at you.
- Penny Woods: Well, whaddaya want?
- Theodore Cleaver: Uh, can I have the wheels off your old, doll buggy?
- Penny Woods: Oh, that's why you came over for!
- Theodore Cleaver: Sure, what else?
- Penny Woods: I thought you might be gettin' creepy.
- Eddie Haskell: When I was a little kid in kindergarten, we had a woman taking care of me, and she sent me to school with a home permanent.
- Wally Cleaver: Boy, Eddie. What happened?
- Eddie Haskell: Well, I told my father about it and he made a great big joke. You know somethin'? I don't think I've ever really told him anything since then.
- Wally Cleaver: Gee, Eddie, then how come you're always jumpin' on other guys, and makin' fun of them?
- Eddie Haskell: Look, Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon.
- Wally Cleaver: Ahhh, I don't get that.
- Eddie Haskell: Of course you don't. That's 'cause you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent.
- Wally Cleaver: [ruffling Eddie's hair] You know somethin' Eddie? It's holdin' up real good.
- Wally Cleaver: Hey, Penny Woods, isn't that the girl in your class who's so creepy?
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah, but she doesn't seem so creepy since I found out she's got wheels!
- June Cleaver: I once remember overhearing my mother say to my father, "Do you think that Ward boy is serious about June?" And my father said, "Well, if the time ever comes that he looks at her the way he looks at one of your pot roasts, then we'll know."
- Theodore Cleaver: [as Penny rides up on her bicycle] Hi, Penny.
- Penny Woods: Beaver, you rat, I heard you gave my buggy wheels to Gilbert. And I bet you sold 'em to him, too, you creepy little spook, you.
- Theodore Cleaver: Aaaahhhh.
- Penny Woods: Baaaahhh!
- [she rides away in disgust]
- Theodore Cleaver: Boy, Gilbert. I was just over at her house Saturday, and she was really friendly.
- Gilbert Bates: It's your own fault, Beaver, for even *talkin'* to a girl.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah, I guess so. But you know somethin'? I might try it again... someday.
- Gilbert Bates: Boy, Beaver, you're goin' flaky.
- Theodore Cleaver: [rebuilding a coaster car] You know somethin' Wally?
- Wally Cleaver: What's that, Beav.
- Theodore Cleaver: You look a lot better when you've got dirt on ya.
- Wally Cleaver: What are you drivin' at?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, since you started gettin' grown up and hangin' around girls, well, you're so neat you're a mess.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah. Well, foolin' around like this is still fun.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah. Too bad a guy can't stay a kid all his life.
- Wally Cleaver: Gee, Beaver, growin' up's rough on a guy. You gotta wait 'til you're an old man to act like a kid again.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah. Then you can go to parties and wear funny hats, like Mr Rutherford does.
- Wally Cleaver: Gee, Beav, I never want to get old enough to act like that.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, Dad. I thought it would be good practice if I worked on it. You know, for when I get a car of my own.
- Ward Cleaver: Wally, I told you I'd let you have a car someday, and I meant it. You don't have to keep hinting!
- Wally Cleaver: Well sure, Dad, but I just wanted to remind you that you said it and that you meant it, so that, when I get old enough to have a car, you won't say, 'Well, this is the first time I've heard of this.'