- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Has Margaret's hair come down yet?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Ha-haa! You should have seen her last night when I popped in on her. Her eyes were spinning round like phonograph records! Hee-hee-hee! I-heh- I haven't had so much fun sin-h-ce- Ha!- since...
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Since your chauffer ran over the squirrel?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Margaret, as a very wise man once said, "Love may be what makes the world go round, but revenge is the axle upon which it revolves."
- Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan: What wise man said that?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Me.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: The nectar of revenge is to be savored slowly. That's why it's sweet.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: I wish you could have taken the walk I've just taken and seen the sights that I have just seen. Bird here, a flower there, bits of dummy everywhere.
- Capt. Toby Hill: Wish me luck.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Don't worry, Captain. What could be luckier than carrying a priest?
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Oh Hawkeye, what do you think Margaret should wear for lunch? Peas?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: No, something more in the line of an off-the-shoulder stew.