- Choi Sung Ho: The candy would have brought great joy to the children for a few moments, but on the black market it was worth enough rice and cabbage to feed them for a month.
- Major Charles Winchester: It is sadly inappropriate to give dessert to a child who's had no meal.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: [Klinger hums 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'] Christmas carols! I love'em. We gotta do some of that at the party tomorrow.
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: Way ahead of you, sir. That's why I've been writing down the words. I'm going to make copies for everybody. It's amazing how many of the old holiday songs I remember by heart.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: [reads the paper] "Three French horns, two turtlenecks and a partridge in a pair of trees." You're right. It is amazing.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Come on, Hawk, let's go before they run out of powdered egg nog.
- Hawkeye: [exits The Swamp wearing glasses and a fake nose] All right, all right. Don't rush me. I barely had time to put on my face.
- Hawkeye: [after Flannigan dies, Hawkeye Pierce walks over and advances the dial on the operating room clock] Look. He made it. Time of death: 12:05, December 26.
- Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan: Never fails to astonish me. You're alive, you're dead. No drums. No flashing lights. No fanfare. You're just dead. ... I'll get the death certificate.