Quotes
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Maj. Frank Burns : [about Koreans] The savages!
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Frank, those *savages* were printing with movable type in 1403.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : He's right. I was in 1402 and the noise kept me awake all night.
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Kyong Ja : The exorcism would have to be performed by a Priestess. Once the spirits are gone, my grandfather would let you operate.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : We haven't got time for that.
Kyong Ja : She's only a mile away.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : I could drive her, Sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : You do that, Radar.
Maj. Frank Burns : You do that Radar, and I'll have your stripes.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : You look lousy in stripes, Frank. Go ahead, Radar.
Maj. Frank Burns : Now just a minute, Bub. U.S. Regulations do not allow for heathen rituals on government property.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Dangerous talk, Frank. If the spirits heard you say that, they'd turn you into a pumpkin, or a dedicated doctor.
Maj. Frank Burns : Ah, bunko junko.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Run along, Radar.
Maj. Frank Burns : Permission to run along denied!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Permission to deny denied!
Maj. Frank Burns : You can't do that! I outrank you. I have half a mind to tell the Colonel.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I deny you have half a mind.
Maj. Frank Burns : Then I will see the Colonel.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I'll deny I said anything. I'll deny I denied anything. Beat it, Radar!
[Radar and Kyong Ja drive off]
Maj. Frank Burns : Pierce, you are the most unmilitary man in this man's army.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Thank you.
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Maj. Frank Burns : Oh, jam it in your Jell-O, Pierce.
