M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Lend a Hand (1980)

William Christopher: Father Francis Mulcahy

Quotes 

• Lt. : With all due respect Klinger, get the "h" out of there.

• Klinger : [writing on cake with frosting for Hawkeye's birthday]  A real work of art, huh Major?

  Charles : A masterpiece, Klinger! With one minuscule flaw: You have wished Hawkeye, a 'Happy Birthhday'.

  Klinger : Huh?

  Charles : See, 'birthday' is not generally spelled with a pair of h's.

  Klinger : Don't pick nits, Major. It's that tiny imperfection that makes it special!

  Charles : Fix the cake.

  Klinger : It's easy for you to be a critic. You didn't spend three hours facing a blank piece of cake!

  Charles : Fix the cake!

  Klinger : I guarantee, nobody's gonna notice!

  Father Mulcahy : [Father Mulchay enters kitchen]  Hello! Ah, how's it coming, dough-boy?

  Charles : Uh, tell me-what's wrong with this cake Father 'Mulcahhy'?

  Father Mulcahy : Hmm... Nothing at all!

  Klinger : HA!

  Father Mulcahy : Especially if you like h's!