- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: A hundred and forty... A hundred and fifty. There. Finished.
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: You're forgetting one thing, Major, that's just the interest. You still owe me the original 50.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Very well. 20, 40... 50. Wonderful. Now I'm out of cash again. How do you expect me to make it through to the end of the month?
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: With the help of a friend.
- [Puts arm around Charles and grins]
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Hi, friend.
- Hawkeye: Klinger, did you put the money in the safe?
- Cpl. Maxwell Klinger: I didn't want to bother the colonel in triage. He's the only one who knows the combination.
- Col. Sherman Potter: And no one's going to find out. It's Mildred's measurements.
- Col. Sherman Potter: [enters the Swamp, which is reeking of booze] This must be the tent that made Milwaukee famous.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Would you like some cognac?
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: No thanks, I ain't hungry.
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: [clears throat] Ahem, Luther, I've brought you here to discuss an offer that you would be a fool - as it were, not to accept.
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Oh yeah?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: I've given it alot of thought and have come to the conclusion that in exchange for cancelling my debt, I am prepared to part with this.
- [Unwraps a small blue vase]
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: What do I want with a pitcher?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: This "pitcher" is an incredibly valuable and treasured vase from the Celadon Dynasty.
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Oh...
- [leans forward]
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: I don't care if it's from the new Sears catalog, Major. Just how stupid do you think I am?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: An adjective fails me, but you see...
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: No, all I see is, is that YOU are tryin' to get out of payin' ME the money you owe me, which is $50...
- [checks watch]
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: No no, make that a hundred dollars. I don't want no hard luck stories. I don't want no dime-store spitoons. All I want is my money. I'll see YOU tomorrow.
- [Exits; Charles angrily throws the vase at the door, smashing it to pieces; Rizzo peers back inside]
- Sgt. Luther Rizzo: Oh gee, sir, now you ain't got a pot to spit in.