M*A*S*H (TV Series)
The Light That Failed (1977)
David Ogden Stiers: Maj. Charles Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Maj. Charles Winchester : If that is a gauntlet you have just thrown down, I take it up with relish.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : One gauntlet with relish, hold the mustard and onions.
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Well Pierce, not one witticism about the criminal returning to the scene of the crime? Not that...
[they go outside Post Op]
Maj. Charles Winchester : not that you wouldn't be somewhat justified. Look, I admit that what I did to that boy was totally inexcusable.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Uh, huh.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Well, perhaps not totally. After all, I had been in surgery for 14 straight hours! It was dark in there. But is that any excuse for misreading a label? I said, is that any excuse for misreading a label? Uh, not really. If that man had died, his blood would be on my hands. You might at least acknowledge that such a courageous man would admit it when he is wrong. You might at least say something!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : [slams the door to the Swamp, staying outside] What do you want from me?
Maj. Charles Winchester : At the moment, simple acknowledgment.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Look, Winchester, if you want to vacuum your conscience, why don't you go see Father Mulcahy? He's offering absolution right around the corner!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Why are you so unfeeling about my feelings?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : I don't give a damn about your feelings! A man almost dies, and all you can think about is how it affects you. Only you!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Now just a minute!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You wanna know why you can't work in the dark? There's no limelight! Without an audience, a patient means nothing to you, you just don't care!
Maj. Charles Winchester : I care enough to be brilliant at what I do!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : OK, yeah, fine, yeah. Technically you're among the best around.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Ah! Now we're getting somewhere.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : But if I were hurt, I would want Hunnicutt or Potter to work on me.
Maj. Charles Winchester : But if you say I'm that good..
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : They'd bust a gut to save a life, you wouldn't even work up a good sweat!
Maj. Charles Winchester : I was sweating when I saved that boy's life with that scalpel!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You didn't start to sweat until after you'd used the hypodermic.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Envy, isn't it, Pierce?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Ha, ha, ha, yeah, envy.
Maj. Charles Winchester : It's envy. Ah, I saw it at the beginning. You envy my skill, my expertise.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : All I envy is your hutzpah.
Maj. Charles Winchester : Don't you spit at me!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You sanctimonious Back Bay!
Maj. Charles Winchester : That's enough! Do you deny calling me a superior surgeon?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Not quite, I called you a superior *sturgeon*. You're the biggest lox in Korea!
[goes into the Swamp]
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Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Winchester, does your immense vocabulary include the words 'Thank you'?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Hunnicutt, let's not get maudlin.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Bringing a dead man back to life is a class act. It deserves some appreciation.
Maj. Charles Winchester : What makes you think that man would die?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Well, for openers, he was paralyzed and couldn't breathe!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Hunnicutt, a few of the facts. A, any emergency medical student knows how to resuscitate the patient. B, I know what you're thinking. And C, it wasn't even my fault!
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : [vehemently] Who speared this guy with curare? A passing pygmy?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Hunnicutt, I was goaded into relinquishing that light bulb! If you would only open your eyes and see how dark it is in here.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : A, less light is no excuse. B, I know what you're going to say. And C, if you say it, you'll wake up in Fat Lip, Arizona!