M*A*S*H (TV Series)
The M*A*S*H Olympics (1977)
Harry Morgan: Col. Sherman T. Potter
Photos
Quotes
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Colonel Sherman T. Potter : So your gonna eat you way to a discharge?
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : I call it food for freedom.
Colonel Sherman T. Potter : I call it suicide by salami.
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : [Over the P.A. system] Ten hut, all you mopes. This is your C.O., the guy who set up this little wingding. Remember me? Couldn't help but notice that some of you are less than delighted with the program. Well, we're gonna straighten that out. Those of you who still have the energy will report to the mess tent right now. Those of you who don't have the energy will report three minutes earlier.
[He pauses for a few moments]
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Same to you.
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Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Sir, do anything, but don't yell.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Quiet!
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : We've all been following the Olympics pretty closely. We'd all like to be there.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : But since we can't, we're going to hold our own little Olympics right here.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Give 'em Helsinki, Colonel.
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : Now, listen, Major. When you get to Manila, first place you wanna go...
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Oh, thank you, Colonel. Thank you so much.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : [Maj. Houlihan leaves. Col. Potter turns around and addresses the shelf] First place you wanna go is the Blue Machete Cafe. You'll love it, Major.
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : Take your positions for the crutch race. Fifty of the most grueling yards you'll ever see. It takes stamina, balance, a good sense of direction, and strong armpits. No starts till you hear the sound of the gun. I want a good, clean race. I know how sneaky you people are, so I'll be watching carefully. Remember, no jabbing, tripping, or blocking.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, there goes our game plan.
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : Hold it. We're not finished yet. You people are in sorry shape. This is a mobile hospital. If we ever have to bug out, you won't be able to lift a tent pole.
Maj. Charles Winchester : I'm a surgeon. I'm not a circus roustabout.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You're a clown.
Maj. Charles Winchester : You're a buffoon.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Bozo.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Bottle it.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : What am I supposed to do?
Col. Sherman T. Potter : I guess you'll just have to sit this one out.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Captain Pink!
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Uh, oh, Colonel?
[BJ points to Margaret's husband, Donald]
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : There's a little boy over there who looks like he wants to play.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Of course! Donald! Colonel Penobscott, I need your broad shoulders.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Stop! Hold it, time out, and just a doggone second!
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Darling, you're gonna be my partner in the Nurse Carry.
Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott : I am?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Yes!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Colonel, this is the 4077th Olympics. Gorgeous George is just an out-of-town relative.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Objection sustained. The purpose of this is to build up our own people.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Thank you, Your Honor. There'll be a little something for you in your chambers later.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Colonel, that's not fair!
Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott : No, dear, the Colonel's right. These are your games. And anyway, with my athletic ability, Pierce's side wouldn't stand a chance.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : What-- Wait a second. Now wait a minute. What do you mean, wouldn't stand a chance?
Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott : Well, I didn't mean it exactly like that. I'm sure it would be, uh, competitive.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You bet your brass.
Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott : Of course, a guy who was All-American in track and wrestling at West Point doesn't often lose to a bunch of army doctors.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Just a second, jocko! Would you like to put your muscle where your mouth is?
Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott : As a matter of fact, I'd really like that.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Pick up your wife, cadet.