- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: I make it a point to never drink anything that came out of a radiator.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Charles, how come you never sweat?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: In the first place, I do not sweat; I perspire. In the second place, I never perspire.
- Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Hey, what're you doing? That's "Mañana"!
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Don't you have any Rakhmaninov?
- Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Nah, we don't carry any vodka.
- Lt../Capt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy: [condescendingly handing Winchester a poker chip after Winchester has lost] From the orphans. ...